By complaining about fate, constantly repeating the most dangerous phrases, we give the subconscious a call to inaction. But the word is material, and our thoughts and desires sooner or later come true.
It depends only on us what we mentally call for - success or failure. To protect yourself from troubles and send positive coding to your brain, you need to monitor the spoken phrases.
4 dangerous phrases that block brain function
Remember them and never say them, even in your thoughts:
1. “I am a sick person”, “My health is failing me”. Subconsciously a person invites illness. It worsens its emotional state, launches a destructive program, and as a result the disease progresses.
Every person has health problems, but you need to set yourself up for the positive, concentrating mentally on the positive aspects.
2. “I can’t handle it”, “My brain can’t handle it”. You immediately tell yourself that nothing will work out. You abdicate any responsibility and justify your inaction. A person himself does not know what he is capable of.
Often, people without outstanding mental abilities achieve unprecedented heights through perseverance and hard work. But sophisticated, talented people, on the contrary, ruin their gift by giving their subconscious blocking attitudes.
3. “Age doesn’t allow me”. People make references to old age or youth, intending to justify their laziness. The easiest way is to say that the years are no longer the same, and you shouldn’t even try to start something new. In fact, age is different for each person, and at 70 you can feel like you’re 20.
The main thing is the right mood that we send to our brain. Remember, it’s never too late to start something truly worthwhile and radically change your life for the better.
4. “I’m a loser”, “I’m never lucky in life”, “Luck has turned its back on me forever.” Of the 4 dangerous phrases that block brain function, this is the most destructive. When a similar phrase is said before starting any action, the positive attitude disappears.
The result is failure, which we ourselves invited by tirelessly repeating these phrases. To achieve success in any endeavor, you need to start thinking like a winner. Any negative thoughts should disappear from your thoughts forever.
Are you redoing an important project for the third time? Can't figure out what's written in the textbook? Have you decided to study Python, but your head is spinning from new information? At such moments, it is easy to doubt your intellectual abilities and reward yourself with some offensive epithets.
But instead of berating yourself, try using more gentle phrases. For example, “I have strengths and weaknesses. Programming is truly difficult. We’ll have to devote more time and effort to this.”
Otherwise, over time, you will actually convince yourself that you are not brilliant - and thus cut off your path to interesting projects and new knowledge.
2. “I'm a loser! I can't do anything."
We usually say this when we are tired and the world appears in very dark colors. At such moments, one last little thing is enough to make you give up and exclaim: “Why am I always unlucky!”
However, this is a very general and categorical phrase, and there are usually no significant facts behind it.
Try replacing such expressions with a more neutral option: “Yes, there are ups and downs in my life. But I do exactly as much as I can, and as well as I can at the moment.”
3. “It’s all my fault”
Sometimes we try to shift responsibility onto others, and sometimes we go to the other extreme and begin to blame ourselves for all our, and at the same time, other people’s, troubles. This is not constructive and can ruin your mood and destroy your motivation for a long time. Try saying, “I had a role in what happened. But I am only for my actions and decisions, and not for the whole situation as a whole.”
4. “They probably think that I...”
Oh, this is our eternal delusion - to consider ourselves the center of the universe and think that everyone around us is very concerned about what we look like, what we say and do. All this, of course, comes from self-doubt: we, in fact, attribute our own thoughts to others.
That is, it is not your classmates at the alumni meeting who think that you are a loser, but you who consider yourself such.
And even if some strangers are really not delighted with you, this does not mean anything. So replace the alarming “They think that I…” with this wording: “They can think whatever they want, that’s their right. But their opinion is only their opinion, it doesn’t say anything about me.”
5. “I’m lazy and a procrastinator.”
It’s happened to everyone: I was getting ready to work, went to the Internet to look for important information, link after link - and now three hours have passed, and you’re reading about Kim Kardashian’s plastic surgery or watching a documentary about a blob fish.
After this, anyone will feel a sense of guilt: how can this be, I should have been doing something useful, but instead... I’m lazy, dull and passive, I’ll never achieve anything. But such self-flagellation will not make anyone feel better.
It is the feeling of guilt that is one of the reasons for protracted pain. We waste time, then we blame ourselves for it and believe that the day is already ruined and there is no point in getting down to business. Therefore, it is better to replace unconstructive statements with something like “Today is just such a day, I needed to rest. And tomorrow I’ll make up for lost time.”
6. “I’ll never succeed!”
Everyone, of course, dreams of a bright, bright and comfortable future. But believing in this is not always easy - especially if failures are pouring in from all sides. Decadent thoughts immediately begin to creep into your head: “I will never achieve anything, I will not succeed in anything and I will die in poverty.”
The likelihood that this will happen will be much higher if you continue to scold yourself.
Scientists polled Effects of Self-Talk Training on Competitive Anxiety, Self-Efficacy, Volitional Skills, and Performance: An Intervention Study with Junior Sub-Elite Athletes 117 athletes, each of whom was given instructions on how to conduct internal dialogue. Some of the participants gave themselves instructions that were in no way emotionally charged; athletes from the second group tried to motivate themselves. The third group praised themselves, the fourth scolded and intimidated. The indicators were not too different from each other, but athletes from the first three groups still demonstrated higher athletic performance and were more self-confident than those who criticized themselves.
If you really want to despair and doubt yourself, you can do it in a more gentle form: “Yes, I understand that failure may await me. But this is not a reason not to try. In any case, I will take away valuable experience from this story.”
7. “I missed this opportunity! But I could have tried a little!”
Sometimes impressive earnings, interesting offers and useful contacts disappear from us. Sometimes we ourselves are to blame for this, and sometimes this is how circumstances develop. But before you wallow in regret, remember that failure happens to everyone.
Therefore, before you sigh about what you missed and torment yourself, try to express this thought differently: “I didn’t succeed here. So I’ll grieve a little, and then I’ll analyze my mistakes and work on them.” You can also remember what happened in your life thanks to the “failure.” For example, if you were hired for your dream job, you wouldn’t get a job at a small company and meet your other half there.
8. “They always succeed. Not like mine..."
I wonder if there is at least one person in the world who has not been compared with others since childhood?
Petya has already eaten the porridge, but you haven’t. Masha got an A, and you got a C. All your classmates are already married, and you will just sit there alone.
Of course, we get used to the fact that there are some Masha and Petya around all the time who are a priori better than us. And we persistently compare ourselves with them, hoping that we are not inferior to them in anything. And, of course, we often lose the comparison, because someone’s grass will definitely turn out to be greener.
Instead of envying others and berating yourself harshly, look at the situation from a different angle: “He tried hard, and this is what he came up with. I have a lot to learn from him.” There is enough success, money and love in the world for each of us.
Has it ever happened to you that someone outsider spoiled your mood, a word dropped by someone inadvertently offended you, brought you a feeling of discomfort, drove you crazy?
This happens to all people from time to time, but not everyone knows how to behave in such a situation, and how to ensure that they calmly react to any external irritant.
In this article, we will look at a method that will help you more easily deal with unkind statements, sarcastic jokes, any veiled criticism, unsolicited advice and uncomfortable questions, and also consider options for behavior in these situations.
Life is like a movie
When you watch a movie or read a book, everything that happens there is perceived by us calmly, detachedly, without strong feelings. So in everyday life, you need to turn on the toggle switch to “cinema” in time, because in life people also play different roles.
There will always be people who love us, those who like us, those who don’t like us and those who will simply hate us! This is neither good nor bad, it cannot be changed and in no case should it affect our well-being and vital energy!
In order not to spoil your life with all sorts of ridiculous statements from strangers, you need to step back in time, imagine as if this is not happening in real life - it is not happening in life, but in a movie.
It’s like passing by another scene in a film or play - not taking everything to heart, as if it’s not happening to you, as if you’re watching a movie or reading a book, perceiving the story from the outside without experiencing strong emotions.
For example, when your favorite character dies in a book, you feel sad, maybe even grieve a little! But after a short period of time, you willy-nilly switch to some activity: make yourself some tea, go to work, forget about the book and, as always, continue to live your normal life!
So in life, you need to learn to react the same way to all unpleasant moments, caustic words, comments of other people!
The diagram looks something like this:
1) Experienced an emotion (offense, anger or any other feeling);
2) Feel it;
3) We remembered that life is like a movie: here, along with good characters, there will always be villains who will happily ruin our mood and
4) Mentally switched to something else! The best thing to do is come up with an exciting activity that you will immerse yourself in.
Super valuable ideas and affirmations
Important! If you feel strongly about certain words, it probably means you have a super valuable idea related to it! Therefore, you need to ask yourself: Why does this bother you? What emotions are you experiencing and why?
Once you know the answer to these questions, you will understand what is causing your experiences and you will be able to work through them.
For example, the answers could be: “I believe that no one has the right to teach me or give advice,” or you are offended by the fact that everyone should treat you well!”
After you have identified your highly valuable ideas, you need to come up with opposite positive affirmations (statements).
For example, a positive affirmation for “I believe that no one has the right to teach me or give advice” is “All people have the right to behave the way they want” or “I calmly react to the advice and statements of other people.”
Thus, you can choose opposite affirmations, repeating which you can more easily look at everything that happens in your life. It is best to write down affirmations in a special notebook or write them on sticky notes and stick them in a visible place.
If you think about it, no one really owes anyone anything, every person is free to do as he pleases, we do not have the right to influence people and force them to be the way we want, to behave as we think is right!
But whether or not to react to the words and actions of strangers is in our power. By reacting negatively to words, we waste a lot of energy that we can spend on realizing our ideas!
You will find it useful:
How to respond to unpleasant statements?
If you're wondering, "What's the best way to respond to a sarcastic person who's teasing you, or an annoying person who's asking you nasty questions, and how best to put them in their place?" We've got some great answers for you, depending on the situation.
How to answer when asked
unpleasant question...
- “I’ll be happy to try to answer your question, just answer first, why are you so interested in this?”
- “Do you really want to talk about this?” If the answer is positive, then simply answer: “I’m not very good” and end the dialogue with a smile.
- Why did such an unusual question come to your mind?
How to respond when over you
making sarcastic jokes?
- You have a smile on your face, and at the same time you say unpleasant things, why do you need this?
- You know better. You know better.
- Sneeze, and then add: "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit. So where did you stop?"
- “Do you want to offend me? For what?"
- Don't judge others by yourself!
- Thank you for your interest in me and for taking the time to identify my shortcomings.
- Thank you for your interest in my personal life, I will not distract you from your thoughts!
- You're damn right! You are 100% right!
- Strange thoughts come into your head!
- Dear, you may have confused me with someone"
How easy is it to ignore an offender?
- Try to imagine the offender behind a glass wall: you see him, you notice that he is saying something, but you simply do not hear. You can also imagine a boor in the image of a big fish in an aquarium: it seems to be moving its lips, moving its fins, but it is not clear what all this is for. Plus it looks very funny.
- Imagine that you are a leaf by the road... Everything passes by and doesn’t touch you in any way.”
How to make the offender
left behind you forever?
Laugh right in the offender’s face, and then add: “What a fantasy you have!” or cheerfully agree with him! Humor is the best cure for hurtful words and nasty people. Not only will you discourage your opponent, but you will also lift your spirits!
For your health, use the necessary statements and methods that are presented in our article, but remember, what matters is not what you answer, but how you feel. You can simply ignore the uninvited interlocutor, provided that his words do not touch you internally.
I wish you a great mood,
Ekaterina Akhmetzyanova, author of the article.
Words have enormous power - they materialize, although this may not be immediately noticeable.
The power of a word
No one today would argue that words have enormous power.
They materialize, although it may not be immediately noticeable. To date, scientists have studied in detail and presented evidence of the power of our words. .
There are entire areas of science that continue to explore the influence of words, for example, wave genetics, which offers the treatment of fatal diseases with sound.
Therefore, it is very important to monitor what we say in order to save our lives from many troubles.
Let's look at popular phrases that people often say without even thinking about the destructive impact they entail:
1. “I can’t!”
Every person often uses this phrase when, for example, he wants to refuse help to someone. On the one hand, this is correct, because you need to be able to refuse people. But, you can do it differently.
Start saying instead of “I can’t!” - "I will not do it". When a person often uses a phrase that proclaims his powerlessness, it settles in the subconscious and deprives the person of energy. "I can not!" is a phrase that means weakness, lack of strength, energy, knowledge. If a person can do something, but it is inconvenient for him, he needs to say so.
If a person simply doesn’t want to, then you need to say so. INsay the phrase “I can’t!” has destructive consequences and deprives a person of strength.
2. “I’m shocked!”
Another favorite expression of many people. But if people understood the true meaning of this phrase, they would not use it in everyday life. Let's first look at what shock is.
So, shock is a complex pathological process that entails severe disruption of the vital functions of the body.
There are different types of shock in terms of severity, but they all imply a terrible state of the body.All cells of our body react negatively to such a sound message, and therefore, if a person wants to preserve his health and performance, it is better to express his surprise in other words.
3. “I will never…”
The continuation of this phrase differs in different situations, butSuch categorical statements often block a person’s forward movement.When, in an emotional outburst, we promise never to do something again, we often do not fully realize the depth of this phrase. Naturally, emotions pass and we return to our usual actions, but everything is no longer going so smoothly. For example, when we say out loud “I will never trust people again!”, time passes and we forget about it, but building trust becomes much more difficult.
4. “I’m terribly happy!”
Or “I’m terribly happy!” These are phrases that carry a negative message. Horror is incompatible with feelings of joy and happiness. Expressing horror destabilizes our emotional state and attracts unhappiness into our lives. It's best to cross these phrases out of your vocabulary. Any language has enough words to express your feelings most clearly.
5. “I have no money!”
Again, on the one hand, we are used to expressing ourselves this way. But it is important to understand the energetic message that this phrase carries. It is important to understand that ourthe brain works outside of time limits , and frequent pronunciation of such a phrase programs your thinking for poverty.
Instead of talking about the lack of money, talk about the fact that you cannot afford this or that purchase at the moment. A lot depends on our financial well-being, so there is no need to destroy your success in this area with destructive phrases.
6. “I am a victim of circumstances!”
Often people try to justify themselves to others and utter such a phrase. In fact, such an attitude programs our subconscious to defeat. You are not a victim, even if at some point you were not very lucky.
If you don't want to live in defeat, you need to remove this phrase from your vocabulary and replace it with a more positive statement. In addition, such a phrase can harm your reputation and relationships with other people because it portrays you as an irresponsible person.
7. "I'm very sick"
Health problems happen in the life of every person, but we can learn to respond to them in such a way as to get rid of them as quickly as possible. Positive thinking and the right phrases release energy that brings order to our body at the cellular level.
Today, most leading experts in the field of medicine know how important a person’s attitude is for a speedy victory over the disease. When you say such a phrase, you only aggravate the pathological process occurring in your body.
Don't say negative things about your body, but rather, practice healing affirmations – they will contribute to the healing process. published
Several examples of how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, with comments and correction options
There is a constant internal dialogue going on in our minds. We talk to ourselves about what is happening at the moment, about what happened in the past, and about what may happen in the future. Internal dialogue affects our mood, perception and attitude in general.
But if the internal dialogue is negative, it can lead to undesirable consequences, because our thoughts and feelings influence our actions. First of all, determine the nature of your self-talk. Then you can set about creating positive self-talk that will improve your life.
Let's say you get stuck in a traffic jam on your way to work. Your first reaction to this is anger? Something like: “Have you all gone crazy? Did you buy the rights? Look how good she is - she writes SMS while driving!... Hey, you almost killed us all! Why does this always happen when I'm late? How angry this makes me! I'll be late again... Hey, friend, do you even know what a turn signal is?!..." - and so on until the blood in your veins begins to boil.
Negativity can feed on itself. And then you go to work with this mood! You can be sure that others will pick up on your anger and irritation. This will affect the quality of your work and your productivity because energetically and emotionally you are still in traffic and not at work...
Here are some examples of how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones, with comments and correction options:
- “I guess I won’t miss the event. I know I won't have fun there."
How can you know? After all, this event has not yet happened! Replace the phrase with “This will be fun,” and your attitude will radically change. - When you are praised for the work you have done, you say: “Oh, nothing.”
If you are praised, it is obvious that your work is appreciated. So why don’t you appreciate it yourself?! It’s better to just say: “Thank you!” - “I will never be able to lose these last 5 kg!”
When you focus on something, you materialize and attract it into your life. Change this negative statement to “My weight is ideal.” And focus on what you want to attract into your life, not what you don't want. - “It's not fair!”
Life doesn't always live up to your ideal idea of how it should be. Relax and accept everything as it comes. Change what you can change and accept what you can't change. - “The main thing is victory”
All-or-nothing thinking prevents you from enjoying the moment and living your life to the fullest. - "He annoys me!"
No. He does something that you would rather react to with anger. No one can tell you what to feel or how to react! - "I am very angry!"
No. You are a person experiencing emotions that are negative. You are not your feelings. And you are not an evil person. - “I can’t stand it if she leaves me!”
Breaking up is hard, but you can get through it. Moreover, breaking up can be good for you. Don't exaggerate the scale of the tragedy. It’s better to imagine what ups might follow this temporary decline. - “I am unable to study well”
Such generalizations are unhealthy. With such statements you are significantly limiting yourself! See your real and perceived shortcomings as opportunities for growth: “I am gaining skills in the area of...” - “Oh my god, the soup was too salty! The whole lunch is ruined!”
Seriously? What about the rest of the dishes? Was the whole dinner a culinary disaster, or did you just have a problem with the soup? - “I can’t have a normal relationship because I was abused as a child.”
You exaggerate the importance of the past. It was a long time ago. Yes, it has affected you, but you are no longer in that situation, and healing the trauma of the past is a matter of your choice. - “The fact that my children are not doing well in school is entirely my fault.”
No, that's not true. But what about their responsibility for their actions? As a parent, you must guide, discipline your children and help them acquire the necessary skills, but the ultimate responsibility for their success in school and any other activity lies with them. - “No one will ever love me”
Never? Another false generalization directed against itself! - “I'm so stupid!”
Are you really stupid? Always? Absolutely stupid in all areas of life? Of course not! Don't forget about your strengths! You may say, “That was unwise of me. Next time I will do things differently!” Learn from mistakes! - “If only I were as beautiful as...”
There's nothing wrong with admiring other people and emulating their positive qualities, but you are you. Comparing yourself to others in a negative context diminishes your true worth. After all, you are a unique, valuable and interesting person in your own way.
You may recognize yourself in some of these examples. The problem is that such statements sound plausible and convincing, but in fact they only reflect the way you choose to respond to a given situation.
Be conscious and pay attention to the negativity in your self-talk. Every time you notice a negative statement, question it. Where is the evidence that this is exactly the case? Is this always true? Remember: your words have incredible power!
Eliminate these words from your vocabulary:
- Always: it doesn't happen that way. Everything flows, everything changes!
- Never: it never happens! (see above)
- I can't: maybe not right now, but if you want something, you'll find a way to get it.
- I won’t: the same principle applies to these words as for “I can’t.”
- But: an argument with which you can greatly limit yourself!
- Try: Just do it! “Do it or don’t do it. Don't try" (Master Yoda, Star Wars).
- Do: Don’t adjust to other people’s expectations or put a negative spin on what is actually good for you (instead of “I should lose weight” say “I want to lose weight.” When you “want” it gives more motivation than when you "must").
Use the Silva Method reprogramming exercises to change the negative “logic” inherent in your self-talk into new ways of thinking that empower you. Write down the negative statements that you are accustomed to using in speech, indicating the corresponding alternative statements. Replace negative statements with positive ones until the latter become a habit.
When you change the nature of your internal dialogue, you change your life!
