My husband and I have been married for five years, after the wedding we moved to a new apartment, got new neighbors there and became friends with them. But somehow it turned out that among all the neighbors on the staircase, there was only one young couple. We were family friends, so to speak. We went to the cinema together, the men went to the bathhouse on weekends, and we girls loved to go to the dacha, and when the weather was bad we gathered at our house, ordered pizza and watched a movie. So they became friends with each other and became like one big family; they only lived separately. And then one day a neighbor, a granny who lives closer to Lyuba and Volodya’s apartment (that’s the name of our neighbor friends), stopped me and said, “Why is it that your husband comes to Lyubka so often when you’re not at home? And my husband works in shifts, two every two, while I have five days a day and two days off. I somehow said without any thoughts, maybe I ran out of sugar or something else, so I went to her. And she answered me - You should take a closer look, otherwise you never know... I thanked the vigilant granny and ran to work. In the evening I told my husband, he laughed at me, saying that grandma had seen enough of the TV series, he said that he was faithful to me and loved only me, and went to Lyuba, as I thought, for sugar.

A few more days passed, I was running to work again, the same granny stopped me and said that she again saw my husband coming to Lyubka, and then such moans and noises were heard from the apartment that they could be heard in her apartment. I was already wary, I thought it couldn’t be that grandma just made all this up. But to be honest, I thought that if a lover came to my friend, it was clearly not my husband.

I decided to follow up, asked to leave work for a couple of days, but didn’t say anything to my husband. Under the guise of leaving for work, I went to the floor above, made myself comfortable, stood where the door to Lyuba’s apartment was clearly visible while no one saw me, and began to wait. I stood there for two hours, and was about to go confess my mistrust to my husband, when I heard our door open, after which my husband locked it with a key. After which he went into his neighbor’s apartment as if it were his own home. I waited about fifteen minutes and went into our apartment. I called my husband from my mobile phone, supposedly to find out how things were going. He didn’t pick up the phone for a long time, and then when he picked up, he said that he was driving in the car for work and didn’t hear that I called. When I asked why he was going to work if he had a day off today, he answered sharply that they couldn’t figure it out without him, said that he loved me and hung up. I couldn’t stand it and burst into tears, at that moment I just didn’t know what to do, go into the neighbors’ apartment and expose the lovers, or frame my husband and call Volodya. My thoughts were confused, there was a lump in my throat and tears flowed in a stream. Gathering my will into a fist, I rang the neighbor's doorbell. No one opened the door for a long time, and then the neighbor opened the door and said that she was sleeping and did not hear the doorbell. I abruptly pushed her away and entered the apartment. She immediately went to the back bedroom, where she saw her husband.

He shouted that it wasn’t what I thought, saying he felt bad, went to a neighbor’s house so she could call an ambulance, etc. I did not listen to the continuation, I said that I was filing for divorce, and I would tell Volodya everything, since he also does not deserve such an attitude towards himself. A few months later we were divorced, but Volodya still lives with Lyuba, forgave her and is now expecting a child, but only God knows from whom this child is born.

For some time now, my husband started drinking with friends until late at night. No one came and immediately went to bed. This lasted about six months. Before this, his neighbor approached him: she sent him an SMS, he honestly showed me everything. I didn’t pay much attention to this - I trusted him 100%. They laughed and forgot. But madam turned out to be persistent, and besides, she stubbornly tried to become my friend.

And with the beginning of these parties of his, my suspicions began. The access password on the phone was constantly changing, I made a printout of the calls - he caused a scandal. Then I found a second phone - also with a password. I took out the SIM card and turned it on again - I was able to read some of the messages like “when will we meet?”, “I went to work at such and such time,” etc. The husband blamed it on a friend, saying it was a friend’s phone. And I have no way to find concrete evidence, the site is... The husband refuses everything.

As a result, this girlfriend tricked him into having sex when he was drunk when he was returning from a party. She said that she would leave him behind if he did, as she herself told me. I believe that she was very persistent: she began to scratch his car and become mischievous when he rebuffed her. In the end he gave up.

It would be fine once, but it turns out that this was repeated 5-6 times over the course of six months! He came home always dissatisfied, with zero attention to me, which greatly offended me. As a result, at the beginning of this summer, after another scandal, I ran away from him, wrote him an SMS that we were running away, and that I was tired of everything. And out of grief, she and her friends went to the club, picked up a guy there and also ended up cheating on her. For the first time in six months I felt like a woman. I thought the guy would unhook, but no, he got hooked and started calling. Result: my husband found out about him.

The scandal was serious, but not what I expected in case of exposure. Here again a thought flashed through my mind, what does the site mean, right at the stigma, it’s in the cannon. She packed her things and left. A day later I came to finish packing my things - I sat and talked for a long time with my husband, couldn’t look at each other enough, apparently got bored. Then he himself drove up twice during the day, sat and talked. As a result, the conversation turned to continuing the relationship - to which I said that I could not live with him after my betrayal.

And then he asks the question: “Do you want me to fix everything?” And he tells me about his relationship with his neighbor! Like let's even the score and start with a clean slate. I was shocked! Although he achieved his goal, we got back together with him. Although after this story I doubted for a long time.

Now I think about this betrayal every day, I can’t get it out of my head. How did they both look into my eyes with a smile and communicate with me for six months? I can't wrap my head around it. What should I do now? Will I ever forgive? Or you shouldn’t bother, it’s 1:1 after all...


I liked Natasha's parents. Especially mom. Dad didn't talk much. Therefore, Lyubov Nikolaevna hosted the entire evening. She turned out to be an excellent hostess. Dinner was simply amazing. I proposed a toast to the bride's parents, as well as to the wonderful hostess of this house, who prepared such a luxurious table. Lyubov Nikolaevna blushed a little, but she looked pleased to hear flattering words. The evening went wonderfully. When I returned home, I called Natasha back to find out what impression I made on my parents. Natasha said everything was fine. Mom especially liked it. Such a handsome, well-mannered young man,” Natasha conveyed verbatim her mother’s words. I was pleased.

The days before the wedding were very hectic. We chose a dress, a suit, shoes, and agreed to spend the evening in a restaurant. Natasha’s mother shared the troubles with us. Didn't have great taste. The bride's dress and my suit were chosen with her help. So the bride and groom looked their best.

And then the wedding day arrived. The solemn procession passed with tears from mothers and parting words from fathers. At 19 o'clock the evening began in the restaurant. Everyone was dressed up. But my mother-in-law, Lyubov Nikolaevna, especially stood out. She wore a stylish evening dress with narrow straps and a chic neckline. The men's gazes were focused on the valley between the breasts. Even I caught myself thinking that my mother-in-law was damn attractive. The wedding was fun. We danced a lot. For one of the slow dances, I was paired with my mother-in-law. Natasha was paired with my father. The aroma emanating from my mother-in-law intoxicated me. The proximity we were in seemed to add fuel to the fire. I was excited. My dick was treacherously tearing my fly. Lyubov Nikolaevna noticed my embarrassment and suggested that I go outside, get some fresh air, and relieve tension.

My daughter is lucky that her husband is so easily excitable,” began Lyubov Nikolaevna. But if you cheat on Natasha, it’s better that she doesn’t know about it. What do you!! “I’m not going to change,” I said. To which Lyubov Nikolaevna smiled. All men say this, but their masculinity tells a different story. You got excited when we danced! And there is nothing you can do about nature. So let's not lie. But don’t hurt Natalya!!!

Yes, there was something to think about. The woman adhered to modern views. It was easy to talk to her about such juicy topics. I didn’t have such a revelation with my parents. How was it in their family? Is her husband cheating on her? Does she know about his infidelities? I was interested to know the answers to these questions.

The wedding was wonderful. After the wedding, I went to live with the bride's parents. They had a three-room apartment. Everyone was preparing for the birth of their first child. We didn’t have sex with Natalya because of pregnancy. In the mornings I woke up with my underpants bulging. I worked a lot to somehow relieve the tension. He left early in the morning and came late in the evening. Nature demanded its own. Natalya was admitted to the hospital for support. My parents and I visited her. One day Gennady Petrovich went on a flight, and Lyubov Nikolaevna and I were left alone in the apartment. In the morning, as usual, I woke up with a strong erection. I decided to go to the toilet. The path passed by Natasha's parents' bedroom. I covered my dignity and set off. After using the toilet, the erection did not weaken. I decided to take a shower. After all, water relieves stress. When I came out of the toilet, I came face to face with my mother-in-law. My mound pressed against her thigh. I blushed terribly, apologized and quickly flew into the bathroom. Lyubov Nikolaevna just smiled, seeing my shyness. After the shower I calmed down a little. Lyubov Nikolaevna invited me to breakfast. I walked in red as a tomato.

To defuse the situation, Lyubov Nikolaevna said: “Nothing terrible happened.” All this is in order. We had breakfast. Lyubov Nikolaevna went to get ready for work. I, having put away the dishes, also went to my room. Walking past my parents' bedroom, I noticed how my mother-in-law was getting dressed. She was wearing black tights and a white blouse. She was putting on her skirt at the exact moment when I passed by the bedroom. The spectacle was great. The round, small ass was tightly covered with tights. When my mother-in-law bent down to put her leg into the skirt, I didn’t know what to do with myself. My face flushed with renewed vigor. I couldn't stand this. Having flown into my bedroom, I took out my tool and began to masturbate. One minute was enough for me. There was a lot of sperm, and it all ended up on the floor. I had to go to the kitchen to get a rag. My mother-in-law had already dressed and was waiting for me. Something happened? , - asked me. “I got the floor a little dirty,” I blurted out. Let me help you,” and he followed me into the bedroom. She immediately realized what had happened, but did not show it. My mother-in-law was wiping the floor, but I didn’t know where to put my eyes. This happens sometimes, there is no need to punish yourself,” Lyubov Nikolaevna just said. We went our separate ways, agreeing to meet in the evening near the hospital.

My husband is cheating. What to do?

Are you sure that he is cheating? Or does fear just have big eyes? Before you do anything, figure out whether your suspicions make sense!

The main signs of betrayal.

Sudden mood swings in the spouse, unusual temper;
- a sharp surge in sexual behavior or its decline;
- the spouse begins to carefully monitor his appearance (buys new cosmetics, underwear, clothes, perfumes, etc.);
- delays at work, absence from home during free time;
- secret conversations on the phone;
- your spouse has a feeling of “unheard-of generosity” towards you. This could be gifts, or allowing you to go to your relatives for the weekend, although previously your requests in this regard were met with hostility;
- if your husband has a car, then in case of betrayal you will definitely be able to see new mileage numbers on the speedometer;
- very often, lately, telephone calls are heard in the apartment, and if you answer the phone, you can only hear silence and short beeps;
- the spouse’s spending increases, unexpected gifts appear;
- a strange smell on clothes, lipstick on the cheek or near the collar of a shirt, the presence of frivolous notes in the pockets is also possible.

Do not forget in any case that each such sign separately means nothing! After all, your husband, for example, may be saving money for a gift for you, but your son’s friend or daughter’s friend calls and hangs up on the phone. To draw any concrete conclusions, you must collect a lot of objective information.

CHANGES can be of several types:

A holiday romance – limited to the beginning and end of the season, it is perfectly forecast, so there is no need to worry too much about it.
Casual hobby - a short marital adultery with a completely understandable final goal. Sometimes it’s even funny to watch how your spouse strives to achieve his goal, but especially don’t let him off the leash!
Love affair at work – very difficult to predict and extremely extended in time. It is completely unclear where daily meetings during working hours of two colleagues who have mutual sympathy for each other can lead.
An affair with a neighbor (or) or with the wife’s bosom friend/husband’s friend – the most complex and confusing type of adultery. It can be especially confusing if your friend works at the same company as your husband or lives nearby.

What should you do if you want to save your marriage?

Instead of starting a huge scandal over the discovery of infidelity, ask yourself - is it your fault that you were denied a love loan?
- However, make it clear to your spouse that you will not accept this situation and will fight the betrayal.
- Create sufficient distance between your “half” and the object of his “fatal” passion!
- Become more gentle, sexy, sociable and sincere.
- Remember that you and your husband will have to go through a period of remission, i.e. trying to forget the one you had to break up with. It may take quite a long time before the emotional wounds heal both for you and for the spouse who cheated on you.
- Look at the trials you've experienced as an unexpected means of strengthening your own weakened marriage. Believe that after surviving betrayal, your connection with your spouse will become even stronger, and not only sexually, but also in terms of mutual understanding.

And a few more tips:
- Do not give up sexual pleasures with your husband and show him everything you are capable of. Let your rival have no chance to surprise your spouse with anything on the sexual front.
- Have fun with your friends, go to your favorite sports club, treat yourself to something delicious, in a word - have a blast!
- Chat with new people (it will be great if they turn out to be handsome men).
- Take care of your appearance - get a haircut, go to a cosmetologist, change your own clothing style, lose weight. All drastic changes will only benefit your relationship with your husband. Even if your spouse is not drawn to you “with terrible force,” then he will, in any case, become curious about the transformations with your appearance.
- Be creative. Buy yourself flowers (let your husband think they are from another man). Avert your eyes, glowing with happiness, guiltily. Simulate a situation where your friend, at your request, begins to show you signs of attention in front of your husband. Ask a trusted friend to make a few mystery phone calls to your home and hang up if her husband answers. In a word, give your husband a reason to think about what is happening and project the situation of betrayal onto himself! Improvise. This will help you both relax and protect your family from outside attacks!

I want to tell my story because I can’t do it myself. I am 36 years old. IM married. I have a child. At the school where he studies, I met her - a person who changed me, my life. I don’t want to name any names or anything else, because the story is still dragging on and I can’t break this circle.

For about six months we just had non-binding communication. Maximum - light flirting. But one day the most ordinary kiss happened - that’s all. We were both married and both had children. But all this faded into the background - only we seemed to be the main thing. At least that's what it seemed to me.

We thought about what we would say to our children, our spouses, and planned how we would continue to live together. We were still living with our legal wives/husbands when she went on vacation. Not to another country, to the dacha. I wrote, called, said: “I love you, I miss you...”.

I promised to come. But, unfortunately, it didn’t work out. I don’t know why, but that night I couldn’t sleep: I wrote to her and tried to call her until the morning. And then he put two and two together and asked her a direct question. At first she refused, but then it turned out that I had guessed right: she cheated on me with her neighbor in the country...

It broke for a long time, but then we met, talked, asked for forgiveness... She said that she simply did not consider us a couple, but it was important for her that we were close.

Some time later, she quarrels with a relative, to the point that she is forbidden to show herself on the threshold. I ask what's the matter. Naturally, the answer is “purely for everyday matters.” The sense went off. Added. Slept with a relative’s husband...

I break off the relationship, but some time later we resume it again. She had a grief - she needed to be supported. I practically lived with her in a separate apartment, with her parents...

And then again: he asks for leave for the night with his girlfriend at the club. OK. At two o'clock in the morning he writes that he is going home... Result: at home around 8 am, cheating with a random acquaintance.

He left and returned to his wife... I’m a bastard, of course, but there was nowhere else to go...

She left her husband, I didn’t leave my wife... I left twice, and twice she took me back. I understand that she loves and forgives, but I only torment her.

I live now with my wife. I communicate and meet secretly with the second one, but I no longer believe her, neither in her words, nor in her promises. Yes, she got divorced, she swears that she had no one else, but I don’t believe it. For example, I know for sure that I’m deleting correspondence with my former “friend,” that I went to the movies with him and met with him one-on-one in my apartment.

Now she blames me for not being together. Like, she left her husband and admitted to cheating, and I must understand and forgive. I understand that I shouldn’t fall for this, but for some reason I can’t leave her. She’s so frivolous and stupid... I understand that I’m actually ruining both her life and the life of my wife...

I have a wonderful child with my wife, a house in which I am renovating, and a generally good relationship, but I am drawn to someone else.

Psychologist's comment:

- You are describing a situation that is very difficult for all its participants. Based on my practice in such cases, only after a year or a year and a half of hard work with a good psychologist does something begin to become clearer in the client’s mind and life.

We will try to consider the list of the most plausible hypotheses - the reasons and explanations for what is happening to you. This will not help solve the situation, but perhaps it will give you an understanding of the situation and indicate directions for your future work on yourself.

Neurosis

Depending on the approaches, neurosis can be a clinical diagnosis or a designation of a state of split in a person’s consciousness. This split manifests itself in the inability to make a choice, for example, between two women.

There is a lot of suffering in this state: the person feels emotionally crucified. If you force yourself to choose one of these two women, it will not help. Because in a state of neurosis it is tantamount to losing half of yourself.

The way out is to strengthen your consciousness in order to understand: it’s not about the choice itself between two women, but about you. They may not both be right for you. Or maybe both are equally suitable. But women have absolutely nothing to do with it. An insoluble conflict is in your head or in your soul, consciousness, as you prefer.

Unity within oneself must be sought and achieved: torment and suffering help in this. When you manage to connect what is not yet connected, a solution, peace and satisfaction will come.

Scenario

In early childhood, we make decisions about how to live, sometimes without realizing it. One of these decisions is a ban on getting the most necessary things. And we all need only one thing more than anything - love. The decision is based on the circumstances existing at the time and seems to be the best justification for them. In adult life, this decision is implemented unconsciously.

What is important: the scenario can be understood and changed from the point of view of adult capabilities.

Injury

We gain experience of affection and trust up to 1.5-2 years - with mother or with someone who replaces this figure. Positive experience (mom was reachable, reliable, you could always rely on her) leads us to a stable, lasting attachment in personal relationships. Negative experiences do not allow us to be a stable partner; we do not know how to trust and confide. Having realized and worked through the trauma, you will need to learn attachment and trust.

Out of reach

It happens that what is easily attainable ceases to be of interest or is devalued. And if you think that your wife is already with you forever, then the other woman is demonstrating to you in every possible way that she is not yours. Interest and thirst for possession are activated. Just don’t call this state love. A mature person knows how to value more what he has. He believes that his woman is the best. The game of unattainable ends quickly when you get married. However, creating novelty in a stable relationship is a very valuable quality for partners.

Projection

The reason for a strong attraction may be an unconscious desire to import some qualities of a partner that you do not find in yourself. For example, the apparent freedom and irresponsibility of your second woman makes her incredibly attractive to you. Begin to recognize and develop your repressed or underdeveloped aspects, you will feel stronger and freer. The attractiveness of these traits in a lover will gradually disappear for you.

Another projection: it represents the "anima" archetype. More often than not, these are women without inner content; everyone likes them because they can be projected with any qualities. This is a white screen on which you can depict anything. Projections are well tested by reality; it is useful to see a real person in it, and not your expectations and fantasies. The magic will disappear.

Needs

When one woman satisfies some of your needs and the other satisfies others, you feel tied to both, but in different ways. Your wife most likely gives you stability, support and support. Another woman - interest, inconstancy, unpredictability. It would be helpful to recognize all your needs in all respects and take responsibility for meeting them yourself. This is the path to resolving conflict through awareness and responsibility.

Identification

If you have a hard time accepting your shortcomings and failures, and it is painful for you, then you will do everything possible not to feel this pain. Compared to your wife, you are “a vile coward and an insidious cheater.” And in comparison with a mistress - the ideal of chastity, responsibility and determination. Satisfying the feeling of superiority at the expense of her unseemly actions and characteristics will only regress you.

By acknowledging and being aware of your weaknesses, you can grow and accept life's shocks with gratitude. The wisdom of the second half of life is impossible without this skill.

Perhaps one or more hypotheses are about you. But to understand this, you need your active participation, because “all happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way...”. At the same time, it is possible to become a happy family. Good luck to you.