How to gain a man's trust? What is trust? According to Ozhegov’s dictionary, this is confidence in someone’s integrity, sincerity, and in the correctness of his actions. You can earn trust only by winning over a person, reinforcing his confidence in his reliability and openness with every action and deed.
And how to win a man's trust? How to restore it? Trust is actually based on four elements of risk assessment that we all subconsciously evaluate in our partners. Here they are:
1. Sincerity
Do you always mean exactly what you say? Or do you feel guilty when you say something that has no basis in truth.
2. Reliability
Do you say you will do something or be somewhere and then don't or can't do it? It may seem like a small offense, but you will still be subconsciously judged for it. It is always better not to promise to do something that you are not sure you can handle.
3. Competence
This assessment is made on their judgment of whether you have the ability to accomplish what you claim you can accomplish.
4. Caring
When you make a decision or act in a certain way, do you think about other people's interests as well as your own? Most people pick up on this very quickly, even if they can't explain what's wrong with it.
All of these risk assessments are usually carried out at the level of conscious thought, and will be greatly influenced by any events that occur between two people. The end result will be an amorphous instinctual feeling towards you that your partner will not be able to ignore until you do something to break through this subconscious process with new information that provides an alternative possibility.
So how can you stop the process if you have already made a mistake and lost the trust of the one you love?
Here's the thing! When you've done something less than perfect (and we all do), first admit it to yourself.
This is the hardest part. Don't cheat or hide it or blame other people and think you can get rid of it easily because you want to. Trust will be lost even if you were not told anything openly; If you once undermined your trust, it will be very difficult for you to earn it again. The only way out is for you to be honest and take responsibility for your own mistakes in this situation.
And make sure that, no matter what the difficulties, you will follow it. This is a credible position and the only way to stop the risk assessment process we discussed above.
Remember that a small disappointment, timely and well handled, can actually restore trust, while a large disappointment can either completely destroy the relationship or give you a better chance to move forward.
You and your loved one have been together for a long time, however, sometimes it seems to you that he is not always completely frank? But that’s the way men are designed, that they always doubt a little whether they can trust the woman next to them. It happens that this is due to a previously experienced love disappointment. If you have serious intentions, then your main task is to convince the man you love that you can be trusted.
Psychology of relationships: how to win a man
- Be sincerely interested in his life.
- Try to express your feelings correctly. Discuss with your loved one everything in the relationship that seems wrong to you. When presenting some facts, avoid listing small details. Don’t forget that men like clearly structured phrases, as well as praise and admiration addressed to them. But they don’t like direct and harsh condemnation and hypercontrol.
- To resolve controversial issues, you need to be able to choose the right moment. You shouldn’t do this when he’s getting ready for work in the morning, or call him during his lunch break, hoping to settle everything quickly. If the controversial issue is really very important, then agree on when you can discuss it without haste.
- Before sorting things out, ask what your loved one meant and whether you understood him correctly. After all, honest, open and respectful conversation is the most effective method to avoid disagreements.
- Don't be vindictive. Don't bring up old grievances. Don't give them the opportunity to quarrel with you again.
- Know how to calm down in time. Even if you find his things scattered everywhere and start to get angry, do not shout or reproach. Take a deep breath, turn on some music, go to the kitchen for a minute or two to calm down. And then tell your loved one that it’s quite unpleasant for you to look at scattered things. It turns out that you are not criticizing your partner himself, but his action.
- Never sort things out in front of strangers, because this is a huge blow to a man’s pride. Moreover, this is also a violation of generally accepted ethical rules.
- Never be afraid to ask your loved one for forgiveness. There's no shame here. Your ability to admit your mistakes will make a man trust you.
How to gain a man's trust?
How to gain a man's trust?
If absent, and two cannot be frank with each other and suspect each other of major and minor sins, a feeling of loneliness awaits each of them. If you want to, gain a man's trust to you, then start trusting yourself. Plus, 25 ways to break down the wall of understatement and doubt that has arisen between you and win a man’s trust.
So, how to win a man's trust?
- Explain your actions.
For example, you and your boyfriend Sergei have long telephone conversations. For you, the situation is clear: you parted as friends, now Sergei has problems with his next lover, and he craves advice from a woman. But this is not obvious to your man. The situation needs to be clarified so that gain a man's trust, but it’s unnecessary to report why you dressed up like that for a simple bachelorette party. I wanted it - that’s all.
- Talk openly about your feelings.
Not just about admiration or love – about everything. Including about your feelings when he pinches your butt while visiting your grandmother. Speak confidently and calmly (“yes, I’m angry now”) - without hysterics, but also without obsequiousness.
- Unlearn how to interrupt.
Or is it a man’s habit to interrupt you? Don't try to "cure" him. Better try writing letters to him. Handwritten or electronic – it doesn’t matter. You can start a letter with the words: “Darling, before answering this letter, read it to the end.” Helps. In addition, cards and notes are a sign of attention. And attention is a step towards win a man's trust!
- Think twice before hosting.
"For what purpose?" and why?" are two questions to ask before making a scene. For what purpose are you going to do this? And what do you think will come of this?
- Don't question him about his past.
By doing this, you force the man to lie and defend himself. To get to know him better, ask questions about his past life, which he will answer with interest. About tastes, childhood, desires, goals, about the dirty tricks he played on his first teacher. This is also a certain test for you: if you compose questions through force, is your interest in the person really that strong? Listen to the answers, refraining from harsh assessments of “bad” and “good” - categorical judgments force people to close down.
- Learn to listen.
For real. Without thinking about yourself at the same time.
- Be interested in your man's plans.
Did he talk about any expectations that are associated with both of you? And so be it. This does not mean that you have to start “conforming” at lightning speed. Just take his thoughts into account. And at the same time, let him in on your plans: this technique works in a mirror way. But in the same way, talk about your intentions for the two of you, do not insist on an instant reaction.
- Forget about the phrase “it’s none of your business.”
There are more subtle protection schemes that are worth thinking about.
- Don't try to change your partner.
(This is a global rule.) The more, more persistently and more often you try to put pressure on him, the more he will resist, and the man’s trust automatically falls from this. If you feel that control is necessary, be subtle. But in general, it’s a good idea to ask yourself: if you can’t relax in your relationship, why do you need it?
- Look after yourself.
Would you mind lying to your lover? Don't expect to be given the trust you want to earn. As we know, the secret always becomes apparent. The trick will be revealed one way or another.
- Be realistic.
If you regularly catch a person lying, sincerity and trust are unlikely to ever arise between you.
- Thank him.
Sometimes a kiss on the cheek and warm words are enough.
- Think about how you spend your time.
Perhaps there is already trust between you? The indicator is elementary: everything you do together is done by the good will of both. Next time, check with a man whether he really wants to go to the concert of your favorite rockers, or whether he is doing something nice for you.
- Play games.
From checkers to towns and “cities”. If the game is massive, try to be on the same team.
- Notice commonalities.
The more you find, the better. The next stage is to be sure to tell your partner about the search results and rejoice together.
- Praise him.
With or without reason, for a correctly nailed shelf and a beautiful tie. Nailing a shelf in a tie is so sexy!
- Create comfort.
Pull up the sugar bowl and unfold your laptop as you look at your vacation photos together. Difficult? No! This atmosphere of warmth is very beneficial for the relationship between a man and a woman.
- Be sure to talk about what you don't like about men.
But never allow yourself to do this in the company of third parties. No in front of strangers, no shouting or discussion of personal problems. If you are sorting things out in such a way that sparks are flying, and then your friend comes in for tea? God forbid you call her a judge: your friend will feel embarrassed, but the man will not forgive. Action-packed scenes in front of strangers are only good in movies.
- Talk about sex.
Experts have not yet calculated the formula that relates its quality (and quantity) and trust between man and woman. Therefore, in order gain a man's trust, discuss your intimate life with him.
- Come up with rituals for two together.
Or come up with them yourself, but let him understand their meaning. For example, tapping your earlobe with a finger means “let me finish, please.” If you're not very imaginative, read about the rituals... or at least the American Indians!
- Do not forget about the importance of affectionate words and hugs for the relationship between a man and a woman.
This is extremely important. Experts have noticed: the more contacts outside of bed, the stronger the trust between a man and a woman. Conversely, a growing distance is observed in the reduction in the number of touches and hugs. In general, it is believed that you should hug at least eight times a day. And that's the minimum!
- To gain a man's trust, trust him yourself.
If a man is lying completely vilely, then over time it will be revealed without your efforts. This risk is always there.
- Don't discuss a man with his friends.
And with friends you shouldn’t wash his bones. Think about what you want more - to maintain the depth of the relationship between you and gain trust or pour out your soul.
- Let him know that he and his actions are not the same thing.
You love and accept him, but he can change his imperfections himself. If only he wants to.
- Look into the eyes.
Learn not to look away when you declare your love, talk about what doesn’t suit you when you ask him for something. This multiplies the effect of words.
The crisis that may come trust between man and woman, there are several reasons:
- You are being insincere, and your partner senses it.
- The man started lying to you.
- You became too controlling of him, or he began to control you.
- You are unsure of yourself, your relationship, or your status as a couple.
- You are simply suspicious.
Trust is an ephemeral concept, it must be earned, and for some reason in relationships between opposite sexes it is accepted that the man himself must try to do this. But there are many cases when it is he who does not trust his soulmate. There are many reasons for this, so girls should not blame themselves. Perhaps he was deceived in a previous relationship, or perhaps he is a private person himself. However, trust is the foundation for building a strong union, which is why it is so important to find out the reasons for mistrust and try to eradicate them, acting carefully and carefully. How to gain a man's trust? Here's what you need to know about men to make them trust you.
What you need to know about men to gain their trust
1. Mistrust from the past. He was deceived once - cruelly and painfully, which is why your man is afraid that he will be hurt again. Your task is to understand that the fault of his mistrust does not lie with you, which means you should not blame yourself for anything. Just try to understand the situation and help your loved one overcome the consequences of the trauma caused to him. Just don’t stir up the past, especially at the time of quarrels and conflicts, in this way you will hurt his soul even more.
2. All troubles come from the family. There is a high probability that he was not respected and offended by his family - his parents, older brothers or sisters. He grew up to be an indecisive person, which negatively affects his love relationships. It is very important to cultivate self-confidence in him; perhaps, along with it, trust will appear in those who believe in and appreciate him. The main thing is not to over-praise, but to praise for merit; flattery can cause the opposite result.
3. Freedom of choice. Distrustful people require freedom, so try not to control him. Even such ordinary phrases: “How did you spend your day?” or “Are you in a rush at work again?” may make him depressed about your lack of trust in him. But everyone knows that the ideal defense is an attack, and accordingly, you should not be trusted.
4. Trust must be earned. Regardless of the fact that you love, respect and appreciate your lover very much, but his trust must be earned. Yes, it is very difficult, but if you want your man to be close to you, you need to be completely determined and tolerant.
5. No dissatisfaction in the presence of others. If you offend him or put him in an awkward position at least once in front of people who are an authority for your man, then trust will come to an end. When you don’t like something, it’s better to talk about it later, in private.
6. Don't tolerate his antics. Under no circumstances allow him to manipulate your life or control you. He must understand that you have personal space, otherwise over time he will sit on your neck. And no one wants to trust a weak-willed person. Don't put your happiness second!
7. Be attentive to a man's requests. If he asked you, for example, to arrive at a restaurant at a certain time, then please do not be late. This will greatly offend him. The same applies to his everyday requests - to wash his favorite shirt, which brings him good luck, so necessary before an important meeting, not to ask unnecessary questions when he is watching the world football championship, etc. and much more. There is no other way to win his trust.
8. Better deeds, not words! If you constantly reassure your loved one that he can trust you, you may get the opposite result. It is better to prove this with action - take his projects seriously, ask about his plans and listen carefully to his stories, even if they are boring. Believe in him and he will trust you.
So, to win a man’s trust, you need to be patient, attentive and never rush things. Only after a while will he understand that you are worthy of his respect and love, since you will never betray him!
The trust of any person is not so easy to gain; it must be earned not only with words, but also with actions. It does not come so easily; you will have to put a lot of effort and time into it so as not to lose it.
Many women try to gain the trust of a man so that he can trust them too. When there is trust between two people, they develop good and harmonious relationships with each other. If a man trusts his woman. Then there will be no place for scandals and unjustified jealousy in the house.
How to earn trust
In order to earn the trust of a man, you should become an authority in his eyes and not give the slightest chance for deception and betrayal.
Try to take the place of your man, what would you like to see in your other half so that you can trust her. Strive for what you yourself would like from a relationship, but try to take into account the interests of your partner.
The most effective way to find out his claims against you is to have a conversation. In a calm atmosphere, discuss what he doesn’t like about you and what he wants to change in your relationship. Listen to your man's advice, it will help you gain his trust.
You should play the game well, be proud and demonstrate your strengths. Don’t give a chance to doubt your attitude towards a man, be sincere and trust him and then he will be able to trust you.
You must give up deception and always tell only the truth to your partner, even if it turns out to be bitter, it cannot undermine your and his trust. The place of betrayal in a relationship is the lowest. It is betrayal that can become the enemy of your relationship.
Try to ensure that your relationship with your beloved man always takes place on a cheerful and friendly wave. Don't refuse him help when he needs it. Become indispensable to him, let him learn to trust you with his secrets, and you try to constantly justify his hopes and not betray him.
You should not discuss your common problems or family dramas with friends; if someone else finds out about this, then your man may regard this as betrayal and deception, he will stop trusting you, and you will start to quarrel.
Not all of your friends will be able to keep their mouths shut; they will want to help and begin to interfere in your relationship, and this can offend your partner, he will not only stop trusting you, but also respect your words. In his eyes, you will look like a traitor and a talker who cannot keep secrets and takes quarrels in public.
You can gain a man's trust, but the main thing is to maintain it. This can be a very difficult struggle, requiring a lot of strength and endurance. A loving woman will be able to intuitively adapt to her partner and teach him to trust himself. You just have to put a little effort into it and be honest and open with him.
Strive to ensure that your relationship is harmonious and there is trust in it, because only then everything will be fine with you, and you will love each other carefree, without betrayal and quarrels.
