A good discussion on the topic is here http://ponyat.ru/issue/b801-chechen-i-russkaya-devushka.html
Here's the start of the discussion...

Chechen and Russian girl

he is Chechen, I am Russian, what future do I have with him?? his mother really wants me to be his wife!!

Answers from site visitors: Chechen and Russian girl

BERRY (Eagle)

Important - Mutual understanding ------nation has nothing to do with it....

Petso (Khimki)

there are no barriers to true love, if you don’t believe and doubt him, don’t poison his soul, immediately say no

I'm the only one (Novosibirsk)

honey, you are very lucky!!! the main thing is the blessing of the parents =)))

pulka (Moscow)

Oh, they have a completely different mentality, these are Eastern men. Of course, it’s up to you to decide, but I’m actually afraid of such broks.... not enough...

(****Adilya****) (Magnitogorsk)

Honestly? You are very lucky that your boyfriend’s MOTHER HERSELF wants you to become her son’s wife! You know, I almost fell out of my chair when I read it)))) It’s very rare when everything turns out like that. My favorite person is Lezgintak, his mother is against his Russian daughter-in-law, although I am of the same faith as him. You know, Chechens are a proud and temperamental people, if your young man adheres to the traditions of his people, then you better study them, and even better, learn the Chechen language))) I have a friend who is now learning the Chechen language)))) The attitude towards women is also a little different than the Russians, but respectful, I can say that for sure!

Yagodkina (Nalchik)

Future? Eat separately from men. And serve the men's table first. and then go get yours. And constantly run around serving and cleaning. They treat children very reservedly. Think about it. Of the Muslims, Chechens are the most insidious and cruel.
http://www.christianbook.ru/lib/braksmus.html
http://www.pravaya.ru/idea/20/9599
These are references about women in Islam.
http://www.radonezh.ru/all/gazeta/?ID=497&forprint Muslim laws.

Chechen and thief in law are an explosive mixture. http://otvet.mail.ru/question/17199258/

Source: I would not give my daughter for a Chechen.

Natalia (Perm)

among Chechens... to marry a Russian... is very rare... maybe it really is true love... and if your mother agrees... you need to convert to Islam... in practice, I have never seen Russian wives among my Chechen friends. ..Russians have a completely different view of family

In a relationship (Nizhny Novgorod)

If he is a Muslim, aren’t you afraid that he might take a second wife?

Colipso (Bryansk)

You can go out safely in Russia, but don’t even think about leaving for his homeland. Unless, of course, he is the eldest of the children, because... Muslims have the eldest son as a father and, accordingly, the daughter-in-law is the mistress of the situation

BESTIA-STAR OF ANTARES (St. Petersburg)

mom wants?? and what do you want?? be prepared for the fact that you will have to change your faith.. and become a submissive wife.. not to mention complete house-building

Yulia (Cheboksary)

Well, of course... registration in Moscow didn’t hurt anyone... wash it ten times... it will be hard for you

rex (No city)

stupid! they haven’t told you yet that you’re stupid! Our people will come and kill all the blacks and your bastards!!!

Andrey (Without a city)

When choosing a husband, a white woman also chooses the nationality of her future children. Why don't you think about it?

Mika (Without a city)

I’m also in love with a Chechen, it’s no one’s fault that Russian martyrs are weak in spirit. That’s why he’s like a tank behind him)))

Ekaterina (Without city)

I'm going to marry a Chechen. But it turned out the other way around, my parents are against this marriage, but on the contrary they are happy for me. My mother calls me her daughter. says that I am a Vainashka. I was in their family and I can say that everything depends on the person, not the nation. Women are highly revered and respected. For a mother, sister, beloved, even if they simply raised their voices at her, they would lay their heads. Respect for elders, because they wrote that she doesn’t sit at the table with men, she sets the table first, that’s true, but the problem with us is that for Russians, it’s also essentially accepted, that’s why a girl marries her HUSBAND! then there is everything for him, everything for his sake. This is how it has happened in modern times. When you are alone at home with him, behave as you want, but in front of his friends, and especially elders, you need to behave as a real Chechen woman should. And you don’t need to wear any burqa. A scarf in the form of a headband and a skirt below the knee. A modest girl, just the way she should be. So only those who are accustomed to a riotous and selfish lifestyle are afraid of this. If you love, DO NOT FEAR ANYTHING. Look at him as a loved one, and not as a Chechen.

Doesn't matter (No city)

I also love a Chechen and he loves me and I think this is quite normal. How he answered my question when I asked him if love was possible between us, he said in love all people are the same, regardless of nation

Mikhail (Without a city)

look at how these jackals are cutting off the heads of our children! nonhumans, they will all burn in hell for their evil! and you don’t know what they teach their children from a young age!!!

Mikhail (Without a city)

If only it were my will, I would make a second Hiroshima out of this fucking Turkmenistan of Chechnya, to level all of them as fucking shepherds, well, damn, they learned to wipe their black ass with paper, otherwise for centuries the shameful saxauls have been plugging their fingers with their fingers! Hello RAMZANKA KADYROVA, the time will come to fuck all of you, we will be jackals!

Marina (Without city)

There are so many different people, and many different opinions. You know what you want, right? The forbidden fruit is sweet. For better or for worse, we were raised to hate the Chechens. It’s difficult to accept a Muslim just to be with him .You yourself must want this. They respect the woman, but don’t forget, you will have to give up a lot - the beach, candy with alcohol, arguing and much more. Yes, it’s easy to give up a lot. If you are still very young. But when you had too much freedom , then this is almost incredible. In my case, I understand everything soberly, we are just lovers. Yes, I have nothing to lose. I am independent of anyone. I make my decisions myself. I am Belarusian, soon I will become Austrian. I love a Chechen. But how many men, has already broken hearts and how many more will break. I am glad for those for whom everything went right and smoothly from the very beginning. Lastly, I still want to say about Russian men. Not all, but very many of them are looking for brides with a dowry, beauty spiritual and external big roles do not play for them. Rich protectors, yes! And these are Russian men. Well, the Chechens, in principle, they do not hide what exactly they want from you. The choice is yours

Amina (Without a city)

I love a Chechen, even though he is married. He did so much for me, and I was a fool and climbed into bed with him. And now everything is different. I converted to Islam, he gave me a name, prayers in Arabic, syllable by syllable, like with a child. Now I have everything, live and be happy. And he still helps, but he will never respect you again. And I won't either. And who is to blame is the damned Russian mentality, and in Christianity lust is also a mortal sin. Only he won’t forget and I won’t forget, and you can’t mend a broken cup.

Mystery (No City)

I am a child (!), 47 years old, mixed marriage, official. Mom was Russian, dad was Chechen. Six years later, the parents separated; the reason was not due to different nationalities. Nevertheless, all my life I communicated with my father, I communicate with relatives (though they are all very educated and civilized: three higher educations, academic degrees, etc.). Looking at some of the fathers of my Russian friends, I even felt sorry for them (endless drunkenness, fighting, and other negative aspects). But I have loving parents, even if they don’t live together, and an intelligent attitude. I think. that I am happy. Moreover, I will say that I communicate with my second wife and their children. We have a good relationship. So every nation has its heroes and freaks. But life didn’t work out for my parents, not me. Chechens love very much and never abandon their children. So at least provide your children with a normal father. And my late mother was the initiator of the divorce, built a dizzying career, and before her death she said that my father was the most decent man in her life; in her youth, she did not consider or appreciate this. Love works wonders. Of course, one must study the traditions of the people (they have very high moral characteristics), and take into account the opinion of a man. If you agree on everything, then it can very well turn out to be a positive marriage. I don’t know about faith, during the USSR the issue was not so pressing, my parents were both ardent communists. Today no one is trying to lure me into Islam. I didn’t even notice such attempts. Once again I apologize to all visitors to the site. Perhaps I have been very lucky in life, I am just an exception to the rule. Why don't you build an exception too. after all, one positive example is already someone’s life, destiny... Good luck to all Russian girls who have decided to connect their lives with “non-believers.” Your chosen one must be the best!!!

This is just the beginning of the discussion, follow the link in full

I read somewhere here a topic about what a girl should know if she wants to marry a Chechen. I want to write my version, because I am one!)
Let's start with the fact that Chechens hold women in high esteem and respect; they have a special social status. The woman and health are the mistress of the fire/home, the man is only the master of the house. Women are greeted standing, especially the elderly. For a Chechen, the greatest shame is not to honor his mother and her relatives. In Chechnya, a woman is not allowed to go ahead, she must walk behind, entering only after the man. The tradition of letting a woman go first appeared during the time of the food people, the man was the prey, so the weight of his life was heavier, but if there was a predator in the cave, he would attack the woman first. Among the Chechens, on the contrary, the man must be the first to take on the danger. I’ll tell you about how a woman should dress, no miniskirts in Chechnya! no tight-fitting trousers, low necklines, transparent blouses, T-shirts. Shoulders should be covered, legs too, at least to the knees. When you come to your husband’s family, you must respect his parents and not contradict them. Now you are the one cooking in the family, his mother can help you, but is not obliged. Chechens are very clean; the house must always be in order. You should not show affection to your husband in front of his relatives, no hugs, no hugs, no eye contact, behave modestly. It is advisable for you to learn the language, because by doing this you show that you respect its traditions. his mentality. But this is also a plus for you, you can often find yourself in such situations when everyone speaks Chechen, and you don’t understand anything, at first it seemed to me that everyone was discussing me during conversations... and, moreover, personally It would be humiliating for me not to know the language of my children, but who cares. Accept that your children will be Muslims. Chechens rejoice more at the birth of a son than a daughter, because the son is the continuator of the family. Chechens are also very hospitable people; don’t be surprised if there are always guests in your home. If you go to visit, then you should immediately offer your help to the hostess, but don’t impose yourself; if they say no, then sit quietly. Also be prepared for attacks from the female part of your husband’s relatives, they can show you their dissatisfaction openly , or they may quietly plot against you. Chechen women do not like to marry Russians, and this is not because they are all so evil and nasty, but because the wars that took place in Chechnya claimed many lives. At the moment, in Chechnya, I think there are 20% more women. Well, it turns out that they don’t have enough guys anyway, and we’re still here, stealing someone’s potential groom!) In general, I’m satisfied with everything. I’m a housewife, I work from home, my husband won’t let me go to normal work, and I don’t want to, I’ve done all the housework and do whatever you want for your own pleasure. ) I look at the lives of my sisters and realize that I am very lucky. All my sisters have fights and scandals at home, sometimes my husband came drunk, sometimes he didn’t come at all, sometimes he doesn’t give me money, or something else!) But I have the complete opposite, we don’t swear, we don’t make scandals, my husband doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke He never raised his hand to me. Every day I only hear that I am the best, the most beautiful, that I am his gift from above. In general, I live like in a fairy tale!) The main thing is to understand their entire mentality, to accept their adats... I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to do anything for the sake of my loved one, especially in this case, I don’t do anything to the detriment of myself.

Many friends ask why you can’t wear shorts on the street in Chechnya? It seems to me that this can be explained by the usual word “respect”. But respect in the Caucasian understanding and in the understanding of the “mainland” are completely different things. It's just that men, like women, should not show bare parts of their bodies. Although in reality, women still find ways to demonstrate themselves - for example, they wear long but tight dresses.

I wear jeans easily. There are times, of course, when the Hurons whistle after me and say something, but most people don’t care what you’re wearing. The Hurons are those who came down from the mountains and have never seen a woman in trousers. Wild people, they are the ones dancing lezginka on Red Square. Once I was traveling by bus to Moscow, and a young Chechen guy came up to me and said: “Oh, you’re Russian, come with me to the hotel.” For them, due to their upbringing, a Russian woman is a *** (a slutty woman).

In Grozny, men mostly wear trousers or jeans along with a T-shirt or shirt. No T-shirts - shoulders must be covered. You don't have to wear moccasins on your feet, I don't know where this stereotype came from. They also don’t wear tracksuits - this is considered disrespectful for the Vainakhs. Going out in a tracksuit is the same as going out in pajamas. But I can afford such luxury.

You rarely see a real hijab here. This is the same veil that hides the entire body, except for the hands and face. In the Western world, a traditional Arabic headscarf is mistaken for a hijab. Before the war in Chechnya, no one wore them at all, only in the last ten years they began to wrap themselves up, and often the hijab was worn in combination with a fairly tight dress. Usually women in Grozny wear a headscarf and a skirt below the knee. And many girls who cover themselves from head to toe do it as a tribute to fashion - it has nothing to do with religion. A religious woman wearing a hijab cannot wear makeup. She should not have makeup or painted nails. This is hypocritical towards religion.

Young people are generally ignorant in matters of faith. Many are simply fanatics, Internet Muslims. I ask them: “Why fast Eid during the holy month of Ramadan? Why are you holding her? And they answer me: “Well, my ancestors held it, and I hold it.” This is an unreflective faith, as a tribute to tradition. It turns out to be a hypocritical fast: you act like saints all month, you don’t eat or drink, but you don’t know why. But almost everyone will foam at the mouth to prove the correctness of their religion, although few people live according to the pillars of true Islam. During Uraza, Grozny completely dies out; during the day there are practically no people on the street.

Many adats (adats are unwritten laws, their implementation is considered mandatory, and failure to comply is punishable. As the peoples of the Caucasus became Islamized, norms of Muslim theological law - Sharia - began to be added to the adats) run counter to Islam. For example, in Islam it is not customary to dance and sing. A cult of personality is also unacceptable, and yet not a single administrative building in Grozny is complete without a portrait of the first president of the Chechen Republic, Akhmat-Hadzhi Kadyrov, as well as Vladimir Vladimirovich. Often they are accompanied by a portrait of Ramzan Akhmatovich himself. I jokingly call them the “Holy Trinity”: father, son and Holy Spirit. Also popular are mugs, keychains, magnets and other souvenirs with a portrait of Ramzan himself. Our football team “Terek” became the team “Akhmat”. There was even a project to rename Grozny to Akhmat-Kala. This is already too much. All these things do not have a strong impact on my life, but I can say for sure that in the republic there is a strict dictatorial system and open corruption.

Personal life and relocation

I came to Chechnya for the first time in the summer of 2015. I was invited to visit the Chechens with whom I had the honor of working together. The stereotypical opinion about the republic gave rise to fears: before the trip, friends told me that it was dangerous in Chechnya, people were shooting in the street, and chaos was going on. But my curiosity won: I wanted to see the ordinary life of the Chechens, and also see the mosque and high-rise buildings with my own eyes. As a result, I fell in love with Grozny and its hospitality.

The city is very clean and tidy. There are no obnoxious personalities, and everyone is dressed modestly. Chechnya, at first glance to the average person, is an oppressively calm region. Nothing terrible is happening in the republic, you just need to follow certain rules of behavior. In my opinion, these are reasonable standards of culture and morality, which, to my deep regret, are practically lost in many cities of our great homeland.

Grozny left an extremely positive impression of itself, and I decided to move. Meeting my future husband at that time (already ex) happened so unexpectedly and beautifully, I felt happy and protected from the whole world. My husband and I did not have an official stamp in our passport, only some religious agreements. Speaking Russian, we lived in a civil marriage. Of course, I had stereotypical ideas about Caucasian men, I thought that behind him I would feel like behind a stone wall. He looked after me very nicely: he gave me a lot of gifts, spoke beautiful words and made a bunch of promises that remained just promises. He also promised almost a flight to Mars.

Women generally always sit separately. In the presence of elders, especially men, a woman should not pick up a child or kiss him. You need to behave with restraint, without showing positive or negative emotions. Everything should be nice, correct and without raising your voice

Family life was not what I imagined. A man in the Caucasus has a wife who must stay at home and raise children. She can work only with the permission of her husband. At the same time, friends and relatives occupy a large place in the life of a Caucasian man, and there is practically not enough time for his own family. A man is usually not at home all day, and when he arrives, everything should be in order, and the children should be fed. If he came with friends, the woman should set the table and leave the room. She can come in to serve or remove something, but she cannot take part in the feast. Women generally always sit separately. In the presence of elders, especially men, a woman should not pick up a child or kiss him. You need to behave with restraint, without showing positive or negative emotions. Everything should be nice, correct and without raising your voice. In public, a husband and wife communicate simply as friends - no displays of feelings.

From the very beginning I told my husband that I was not a Chechen and not a fifteen-year-old girl who could be raised. I am an adult woman with my own principles, and I cannot immediately start living according to Vainakh adats. It is useless to force traditions on me; you need to make me want to follow them myself. And they demanded something from me, and I didn’t even understand what it was. Nobody told me how to behave correctly, and I read about traditions on the Internet. My husband demanded compliance with them, but made no effort himself, so I had no desire to continue the relationship. I lacked basic care, and we quietly and peacefully parted ways. By the way, just an hour and a half ago he called me - we sometimes communicate.

Most often we quarreled because my husband was not at home. The lack of care also depressed him greatly. Everything else, including respecting traditions, could be solved. The second reason for separation is a complete ban on communication with my friends, acquaintances and colleagues. Making new acquaintances, especially with men, was not encouraged. I found myself practically cut off from society, although I always had an active position in life.

I'm a complex person and I understand that. I have principles and goals in life. I love to travel, and a Chechen marriage practically excludes this. Well, once every five years my husband takes me to the sea - and should I be happy, applaud and kiss him all over?

Life and customs of Chechnya

After my husband and I separated, I thought about leaving Grozny, but the education that my daughter could receive in Grozny played a key role in the decision: she recently started first grade. In the Chechen Republic, a child acquires values ​​that have long been lost in our society; unfortunately, they are difficult to instill outside the Caucasus. For example, respect for elders.

This concept is still preserved in Grozny; in public transport you will always give up your seat to an older person; often an acquaintance or acquaintance you meet at a bus stop will pay for the fare. And also the tradition of hospitality - it is unique; outside the Caucasus it is absent or more often similar to Sochi: any whim for your money.

On the streets of the “mainland” you can see used syringes and empty bottles, even on children’s playgrounds, which is absolutely impossible in Grozny. I won’t say that there is no drug addiction or alcoholism in Chechnya, but it is not so widespread and visible. The mentality differs even in the republics of the North Caucasus. Chechnya and Ingushetia are the only two republics with a complete ban on alcohol and nightclubs (in 2016, all retail outlets selling alcoholic beverages were closed in Chechnya. - Ed.). In Grozny, alcohol can be bought only in one store from 08:00 to 10:00 and only for Russians. If a Chechen tries, he will immediately be given 15 days just for the intention. But, knowing the character of Ramzan Akhmatovich, I do not consider it necessary to talk about specific cases: this could negatively affect the reputation of Chechnya.

Relationships between men and women in Chechnya

The fact that divorce is not customary in Chechnya is a stereotype. But yes, it will indeed be more difficult for a woman to get married after a divorce. These are the traditions. It is not at all difficult for a man to remarry. I have a friend who has already married eight times. Although last year Ramzan ordered the reunification of divorced families. Special commissions came to the men and gave an ultimatum: either you go to your wife and return her, or we will knock you on the head.

I am not considering further relationships with Chechen men. It is difficult for Vainakhs to have a full-fledged marriage with a woman of a different faith, and I do not plan to convert to Islam. I gave my child complete freedom in choosing his religion. I will not interfere with the desire to convert to Islam. I cannot say that religion is imposed in Chechen schools. Yes, students learn prayers and definitely learn the Chechen language, but they often turn a blind eye to the results and give C grades. Even the director of the school where my daughter studies does not know literary Chechen.

There is also polygamy in Chechnya, no one hides it. I know many polygamous families who live wonderfully and prosperously. In such families, everything depends on the man. All his women should be equal

There are Russians in Chechnya, but I hardly communicate with them: as they say, it’s not the right coat. In Chechnya, everyone is on WhatsApp, and for some time I was in a group of Russian women in Grozny. Mostly in the chat there were wives of military men who came here on duty. There are also girls who came of their own free will and live wonderful lives. At least they show that they live well. In fact, in terms of relations between men and women, the region is very specific. There are a lot of lies coming from men. A man can lie that he is not married. Almost from the first message they write: “That’s it, woman, you’re mine.” You're walking down the street, a guy comes up and asks for your phone number. If you refuse him, he will immediately begin to insult you.

There is also polygamy in Chechnya, no one hides it. I know many polygamous families who live wonderfully and prosperously. In such families, everything depends on the man. All his women should be equal. If you buy a fur coat for one, then the other is obliged to buy it too. If one bought an apartment, then so did the other. The situation is the same with the allocation of time. No wife has the right to claim the time of another wife. For my former Chechen husband, I was the first wife, and he wanted a second, which I, of course, did not understand and was against. But now, I think I could become part of such a family.

Hospitality and tranquility

A man should not visit a single woman in Chechnya. But this doesn’t concern me, I’m not Chechen. Chechen friends often come to visit me, plus I receive tourists from all over the world through couchsurfing. Five male travelers and I spent the night at the same time. For the neighbors, such a picture is, of course, a novelty.

There are many good places in the Chechen Republic: the Grozny Sea, a musical fountain, the second in the world after Dubai. But I’ve already done everything, and it’s not particularly interesting to me. In terms of infrastructure, I am happy with everything. There are ATMs and terminals everywhere. Although there is a shortage of qualified specialists in almost all areas: from medicine to the restaurant business.

The main attraction of the republic is hospitality and relationships between people. For example, tourists are never allowed to live in tents and are invited into a house. They will never leave a person in trouble here. They will help as much as they can. Once I had to leave urgently, and the guests who were supposed to stay with me were given free shelter by a driver who simply gave them a lift.

I often visit neighboring republics, and sometimes tourists want to stay with me at this time. I had no problem leaving my house keys with a neighbor or a salesperson at a nearby store. Of course, they asked me if I was afraid that I would be robbed. But I’m not afraid: if anything happens, they’ll find you later. Sometimes I forget to close the front door at night, and nothing bad happens - the region is calm.

Career

In Grozny, I also worked in one of the largest trading companies in the republic, but I didn’t quite fit into the team. Firstly, because I am Russian, and secondly, because I always tell the truth and straight forward - and the Chechens don’t like this, they need correctness and praise.

There are many companies in Grozny that snatched money during the construction of the city after the First and Second Chechen Wars. At one time they easily earned money, but now their financial cushion is running out. My opinion is this: if branches of large retail chains such as Leroy Merlin, Ikea and others open in the neighboring region, all local companies will crumble to smithereens. We consulted for four hours a day, and at one of the meetings my nerves couldn’t stand it: “Guys, there are seven of you brothers, and I’m one.” So that you understand: we spent three to four days discussing one issue for approval.

Business in the republic is often family-run, which I don’t really like. This is approximately the same as the leader is the three-headed Serpent Gorynych, and each head wants its own. I also have no desire to join a government agency. I don't want to be tied hand and foot. Yes, in the civil service you can get an apartment, but then you become the slave of Ramzan Akhmatovich. Not personally, of course, but through intermediaries. You would still have to jump at his every sneeze. We had a girl living here (we are talking about a journalist who officiated the wedding of 17-year-old Luiza Goilabieva and the head of the Nozhai-Yurtovsky district police department of Chechnya, Nazhud Guchigov. - Ed.) who worked at the radio station. She recently left for Izhevsk, although she was given an apartment in Grozny. I don't think she would have left if she liked everything here.

Of course, you can find work in Grozny, but I preferred to work remotely from home. My typical day involves a computer. I can go out for a walk around the city in the evening, but this happens extremely rarely. Well, I take care of the child: prepare a meal, do homework, in the evening - a family tradition, tea with a neighbor. In the summer I practically never visit Chechnya and travel.

I have not encountered the Kadyrov regime, it does not apply to me, and I feel absolutely free. There is no national persecution, if there was such a thing, I would have reached Ramzan. I don't know any stories about kidnappings. Of course, Kadyrov's relatives are allowed more than others. Many of my friends are close to him. Sometimes they express their dissatisfaction to me. But, of course, they can talk to me so openly, but they can’t talk to anyone else. They understand that this will not go anywhere beyond me. I won’t tell you what they say.

Perhaps I will leave Grozny, but I still want to stay in the North Caucasus. I really like Nalchik, I even thought about moving, but due to the current ethnic conflict between Kabardians and Balkars, I put this idea aside.

I've read stories about interethnic love. I want to tell you a little... My father is Chechen, my mother is Gagauz. Although I grew up not in Chechnya, I was raised in Chechen style, I am a Muslim... Many of my friends met Chechens, in while I was an exemplary girl - I studied, studied and studied again, I didn’t even think about holding hands with someone. At first my friends were in the clouds, praising their Vainakh boyfriends, but then... Basically, they abandoned all of them and left to marry Chechen women. And the most common excuse was “Sorry, but I’m a Chechen, and I can ONLY take a Chechen as a wife.”) This is the first excuse of a Chechen who does not want to marry a Russian girl. A Chechen can it is free to marry a girl of any nationality, a Chechen can also marry a non-Chechen, but in general the marriage of a Chechen with a foreigner is not welcomed, often the family of such a girl even refuses her, sometimes it comes to revenge... But that’s another conversation. Dear girls , if your boyfriend told you that he can only marry a girl of his own nationality, then he simply doesn’t love you, or, what happens less often, he’s afraid of the family’s reaction. But then again, is a loving person afraid to do something for the sake of his beloved? Do it conclusions.

Let's move on... One of my friends met with a Chechen guy. She left with a beating. Now she fiercely hates all Caucasians. So, girls, know that a Chechen (who respects the traditions of his people, knows and honors them) will never in his life for anything in the world will not hit a girl (I’m generally silent about beating). According to Chechen adats, a man does not have the right to raise his hand against a woman, and indeed against an old man, a child, a minor teenager, or a baby. And those who raise their hands against a woman are just people , disrespecting neither themselves, nor their people, nor religion. However, this rule is not included in the rite of revenge, since if they have offended the family, then a person has the right to even kill a woman. A Chechen must protect his woman, and not only his own. Women are welcomed only standing, a man should be the first to greet them, among Chechens a woman is, first of all, someone’s mother, sister, wife, daughter, or fiancée. If God forbid someone even lays a finger on a girl (pushes her, for example), it’s not just her brother , but any Chechen who saw this will certainly stand up. Shame on the Chechen who raised his hand against a girl. For an insult to his wife, the husband can kill the offender. But if a woman behaves inappropriately (cheating on her husband), then sometimes it comes to male lynching. You hit? Make your move before it's too late.

I often hear that Chechens are often unrestrained and quick-tempered. But according to adats (I forgot to say, these are not written rules), a Chechen must be restrained. He has no right to show his emotions, even to smile at his wife in front of strangers (especially elders) is considered indecent (I’m silent about shouting and public showdowns) A Chechen must be patient, laconic, reasonable, consistent in his actions and decisions, a Chechen who respects himself will not throw words to the wind. If he said something or swore , then he will definitely do it, no matter what the cost (even if he has to lay down his life).

Here are some other girls who speak about Chechens as if they consider all Russians to be, excuse me, easy behaved. Complete nonsense. In fact, for a Chechen, it doesn’t matter what nationality the girl is, if she behaves inappropriately, then the attitude towards her is appropriate. Chechen girls are very modest , may seem wild to some, but previously, even if a Chechen took a girl by the hand (who was not married to him), he was killed. Now, of course, this is not the case, but the girl’s honor is still inviolable. If a Chechen dishonored a girl, then the family of that Chechen woman can punish with blood, but more often they try to marry off such girls.

One of my friends married a Chechen. He forced her to wear a headscarf. In fact, the girl must decide for herself whether she wants to wear a headscarf. This is a state of mind. You can wear a headscarf, but at heart remain a convinced atheist. But what kind then meaning? Chechen women mostly wear a headscarf at will, because they honor adats. Previously, if two men were fighting on the street, a woman passing by to separate them would run up and, taking the headscarf off her head, throw it between them. They were obliged to stop a fight. No one can force you to wear a headscarf. It all comes from the heart. For example, no one forced me to cover my head, but when I turned 14, I myself came to this decision and wore a headscarf. I have one friend, also a Chechen , wears a hijab, prays 5 times a day, and sits on a dating site and swears (by the way, it is unacceptable for a Chechen woman to use obscene language). This is how it happens.

Let's move on...Bride kidnapping). Often our guys like to joke, “I saw you today when you were going to the store, I’ll steal you tomorrow!” But this, as a rule, has nothing to do with the truth). It’s a kind of entertainment to intimidate a girl with theft. I was often told before that they would steal, etc., but these are jokes. In fact, the theft is planned in advance. And most often the bride is not warned about this (the bride can tell her brother or father, then she is guaranteed complete safety, since they they won’t leave one, and stealing in the presence of brothers is very difficult, almost impossible). Bride kidnapping most often occurs for the following reasons: 1) the girl’s relatives are against her marriage, and she cannot go against their will, even though she loves that young man. 2) the girl doesn’t love him, and he wants to marry her, but he can’t get her consent to the marriage. 3) they love each other and the girl herself asks “steal me, otherwise they’ll give me away for someone else.” and finally 4) just observing a beautiful tradition .Sometimes it happens that the groom dishonors his beloved when he stole it, and she has no other choice but to marry him. Most often, stolen girls marry their kidnappers. If your beloved tells you that he will steal, then most likely he will just jokes. If you are still kidnapped, then again the decision is yours, you can refuse and return home. But the guarantee that if you return and your horseman will not steal you again is small. My cousin got married 4 times stole until she agreed)

Girls, if you are going to marry a Chechen, then I hope these couple of tips will help you.

1) be respectful of the traditions of his people.

2) when meeting his parents, do not hug him, do not hold hands, do not kiss, and do not even smile at him, come in modest clothes. It is advisable to wear a skirt below the knees, a loose sweater. It is better to put your hair in a pigtail, light makeup is also acceptable, but in no case vulgar, just a little. It is advisable to come with your parents. Help the mother of your chosen one set the table, perhaps help cook, the fact that you are a good housewife will increase your chances of fitting into their family. But not insist on your help if they told you that they don’t need it. You should behave modestly. If you give them a compliment, thank them. You can also say a couple of compliments, but don’t bombard them with them.

3) in marriage you should be patient, flexible, hard-working. You should be restrained, calm, keep the house clean and naturally you will cook.)

And so, good luck to you, girls! I hope that my note will help you a little and at least a little destroy the stereotypes that all Chechens are animals.

ZY I’m getting married soon myself.)

Dear girls, site readers!

You need to value yourself, and they will value you in return, but the result is the same - a Chechen man will run to his wife, leaving you in the ashes... You just need to respect them for this.

I met a Chechen man, over 40. I got married a year ago to a 22-year-old girl. While she is sitting at home pregnant, he walks left and right, with friends, with girls, does not spend the night at home - is this life? Phrases - “I’ll send her to Grozny, and we’ll go on vacation,” or, for example, she asked where he was going at night, i.e. spoke, so in response he went to spend the night with me, and said that he wouldn’t spend another night at home after such words of hers, in general, he’s a complete freak.

In general, it seems to me that the wives of Chechen men are a maid + a birthing machine, two in one bottle, and give this old fart a virgin. At the same time, it’s also great that there is also a second wife, because he begged my son from me!

Moreover, the approach is this: you give birth to his son, he is with his mother until he is 3 years old, and then he takes the son away! HORRIBLE, I couldn’t even believe my ears. They don't value their wives. He had already started to educate me, and he said it directly: take my things away, wash them, I might hit you, he said. Although these were only words, all this is indicative, well, etc., despite the fact that the relationship was just beginning, and I was generally unbending.

They are also great consumers, everyone is looking for some kind of benefit. Okay, I haven’t fallen for it yet, I stopped it right away. I started dating him, I didn’t know that he was married, but I didn’t care at that moment, I broke up with my husband, I wanted new experiences.

He liked that I was Tatar, beautiful, wealthy, with an apartment, with an excellent career, in a prestigious car, I had time to give birth to a son, I looked my best. Psychologists They are great, they can deceive anyone, I myself initially perceived him only as fleeting entertainment, like don’t care about him, there are enough fans already...

All this continued while I just didn’t “give a damn” - he was interested, and I was interested, because he never caved in to me. I thought - finally I’ve met a real man, finally I’m weaker... I didn’t notice how I got involved, I didn’t even want to meet others.

Glory to Allah, my husband decided to return to the family, and then the real “Song of the End” began. At first he calmly reacted to his husband, like it was okay to be with him, although I was faithful only to him. But he didn’t believe it, and gradually everything faded away, like: “we need to return to the family, girl.”

In the end, we talked about everything, I understood perfectly well that there was no future and I didn’t need it, but it was terribly painful that he would disappear from my life. He tried again to restore everything, but I no longer needed it.

I don’t know whether the feelings somehow went away on their own, or whether in his understanding I was no longer free, he, according to him, could not interfere with someone else’s family, and my conscience did not allow me to leave the house to join him with my husband. I suffered only for 2 months, torn between them.

A month after parting, there were no more tears and pain, and this was not love at all - just passion - and nothing more, I told him so, and that’s how it was. Thank you that Allah prevented me from continuing this nightmare, everything could have ended even worse, it would have been more painful. By the way, my husband and I also separated, he realized that I was no longer his, but that’s another story, I haven’t been worried about this for a long time.