It so happened that my middle son and I had to change 3 schools!
The teachers didn't like his slowness)
Today we will talk about what to do when teachers say that your child is not developed... or is a poor student, or does not understand teachers well.
This is generally a very common situation and parents are usually lost and don’t know what to do.
Typical erroneous behavior of parents: they either begin to scold the child, punish him in some way, force him to study, or, on the contrary, begin to conflict with teachers.
There is no need to do both!!! This only makes the situation worse!
What needs to be done?!
I'll tell you a step-by-step plan to check what reasons there may be.
What does this situation mean? The fact that the child does not currently fit into some school system, i.e. something is wrong, something is broken!
For the child himself, this situation is difficult; he does not really understand what is required of him.
And here we need to help him.
To help him, you need to consistently check the following 5 reasons why the child began to lag behind!
1 reason is the most common
It’s stressful, now there is some overkill in the school curriculum.
Firstly, there are a lot of subjects and in some subjects there are a lot of assignments.
And due to the fact that homework is given on different subjects, there really is a natural overload.
The child first studies at school, when he comes home he cannot rest and he is still burdened with homework.
Without having time to rest or do tasks, the child begins to become stressed!
And now an important point: if a person is stressed (not just a child), his intellect turns off!
At this moment, the child really stops understanding what is written.
In such a situation, you need to help the child mentally, i.e. don’t do his homework for him, because then his education will be meaningless, but provide spiritual support, sit down with him, do the task, saying that we are in no hurry, and you simply explain the conditions to him and watch how he finds it himself answer!
Reason 2
The child is sick or absent. And he comes to class and does not understand what is going on now.
In this case, the children begin to worry very much; the teacher says something, but they don’t understand and don’t know who to turn to.
It turns out that your child does not understand something, and he is also punished with grades.
Here you need to be very attentive and just talk without interrogating) what did they talk about at school today? and what happened in class? What was interesting?
If the child answers everything, then this is not the reason, but sometimes it happens that he speaks, but I don’t remember or I don’t understand. Then you need to pay attention and help him!
Reason 3 is complicated
Conflict at school with other children.
Here you need to approach this issue very, very carefully because as soon as your child begins to have a serious conflict with other children, no matter what caused it, but as a rule the child is in such a strong emotional state, either in aggression, or vice versa in fear that he simply forgets about studying, he is not able to study.
We need to understand the essence of the conflict, help him continue to learn and treat it as carefully as possible.
You can even allow your child not to study for a while if there is some kind of strong conflict!
4 reason
Not favorite items.
Naturally, there are many objects and for various reasons the child may not like them.
Either the subject itself is boring, or the teacher presents it very poorly.
And it happens that the child has no interest in this particular subject.
And if there are only one or two such items, then in this case it must be accepted as it should be; forcing it is pointless - it will only ruin your relationship with the child.
Just accept the fact that the child will not have very good grades in some subject!
5 reason
Conflict with the teacher.
What is the cause of any conflict? The teacher is also a person and he may have different moods.
And at some point, the teacher, not being in a very good mood, somehow publicly insulted a student or a group of students.
And the teacher, in turn, begins to show who is in charge, lower grades accordingly, write notes in a diary, etc.
The situation here is very delicate. We need to separate them as quickly as possible, as they say, “let’s forget,” count, well, it happens.
Such an accident, no one is to blame. Do not blame the teacher under any circumstances, he is also a person and is prone to nervous breakdowns, especially at school)
You, as a parent, need to go and talk to this teacher about what the child is going through.
And tell a child that you understand him, yes, this happens and say that this also happens in adult life, people have conflicts.
This situation will be some kind of life lesson for your child if everything is resolved correctly and told to him!
Bottom line, what to do when you are told at a school meeting or called to school and told that your child is not a good student - try to check all these 5 reasons and help your child cope!
There were all these 5 moments in my life, it’s not easy for children’s shoulders to carry such a load, that’s why we are parents, to help our children!
What to do if your child is not the object of bullying, but a participant or initiator?
Translator: Marina Lelyukhina
Editor: Marina Lelyukhina
Original: http://www.bbc.com/news/education-24963971
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Anti-bullying week is all about condemning those who bully others and supporting victims of bullying, but what if you have evidence that cruelty towards peers is the norm for your child?
No thanks. I'm sorry, but we've decided that we no longer want Zoe to play with your daughter.
Shock, shame and denial washed over us the moment the mother of our three-year-old daughter's best friend politely but clearly spoke out against the girls continuing to play together.
The girls had been friends since they were very tiny, but our daughter grew larger and stronger and over time began to bully her friend and let her hands go, and so her mother decided that this needed to be stopped once and for all.
Our girl’s behavior is not uncommon among three-year-olds, but we, as parents, from that moment on were forced to spend a lot of effort to convince her not to use fists as an argument in an argument, and to help her avoid the stigma of “aggressor.”
A survey of more than 1,000 UK citizens during Anti-Bullying Week found that around a third suspected their son or daughter of being a bully.
Another 6% know for sure that their child is engaged in cyber-bullying.
The Anti-Bullying Alliance defines bullying as violent acts that occur on a regular basis. The situation in which a large three-year-old girl beat her little friend over and over again fits perfectly.
The girls went to different kindergartens, so we were able to separate them without any problems and move on.
But children grow up, and bullying becomes more and more difficult to deal with, especially if they have already gone to school and learned to use the Internet.
Bill's ten-year-old daughter Melanie, a pet lover, began playing an online game about animals with a group of peers with similar interests who lived in the neighborhood. The game was aimed at giving children the opportunity to feel what it was like to own an animal. The idea seemed quite peaceful to the parents, so they had nothing against it.
According to Bill, he was simply crushed by what ultimately happened.
One of the parents told Bill that his little girl was threatening to kill the virtual pet of another participant in the game, who was slightly younger than her. Every time the victim entered the game, he was bombarded with messages, the main topic of which was the slogan “The Blob Must Die.”
Test for parents
Bill says his daughter was not the direct instigator, but went along with the group.
I was simply blown away by this information.- he recalls
This had nothing to do with how we raised our daughter, and nothing at all like how I thought she would behave in a similar situation.
Melanie was forced to apologize and was banned from using the computer for a month.
Justine Roberts, chief executive of parenting website Mumsnet, says the internet is a "tough challenge for parents" but says there is only one piece of advice for anyone whose child is bullying, no matter the situation.
No one wants to know that your child may be the instigator of bullying, but if it has already happened, all you have to do is confront it.
Here's what Mumsnet users have to say about it:
It’s not always “the other child’s fault.” It may happen that it is your son or daughter who will bully a classmate. If you find out about this, you need to act quickly. This behavior is completely unacceptable, and it will be better if you make this clear to your child.
Recognize, atone, apologize. The child must understand what happened, feel that he caused pain and harm, and sincerely ask for forgiveness.
But not all parents are ready to admit that their child may engage in bullying.
Victimization
A primary school teacher, who wished to remain anonymous, said she was shocked by the reaction of parents whose sons bullied other boys.
Instead of helping a toddler who fell, hit his head and was crying, a group of 11-year-olds bullied him and prevented him from returning to class. All this was aimed at hurting the baby’s brother - an uncommunicative and silent boy, their age.
In letters home, the teacher described the children's behavior as extremely outrageous and completely unacceptable and asked parents to take action as soon as possible in cooperation with the school.
They simply could not come to terms with the fact that their children behaved this way, despite eyewitness accounts, the words of the yard duty officers, and despite the fact that their children admitted everything and apologized to the victims.
Only one parent agreed to work with me. The rest denied the obvious, refused to believe the evidence, shamed me for harassing their children, and spent about a year and a half avoiding the mother who had made the decision to work with her child’s behavior.
Hearing that your child can bully someone is a difficult experience. Here emotions really run high.
The natural desire of any parent is to protect the child, and the reaction of the “angry parents” in this case was at least natural. But at the same time, they reinforced their children's misdeeds, even though they seemed to understand and apologize. This poisoned the atmosphere in the classroom for years.
Warwick University Professor Dieter Wolke, an expert in the psychology of childhood bullying, says that bullies are most often divided into two groups: “pure bully” and “aggressor-victim”. According to him, “pure bullies” usually read social situations very well, are polite and nice to adults, and are popular among their peers.
In contrast, “aggressor-victims” often have poor self-control, easily lose their temper and behave aggressively.
The pure aggressor will control and conduct the business, and the dirty work will be left to the aggressor-victims says Professor Wolke.
Thus, parents of aggressor-victims notice and resist the wrong behavior of their child, while parents of pure aggressors do not see any reason for concern and deny the problem.
Some parents- says Professor Volke - They themselves are prone to bullying and consider it the norm of life, thus reinforcing the behavior of their own children.
The bad news is that the incidence of pure violence only really declines towards the end of adolescence. In young adults, the rates are approximately 10% for boys and 8% for girls.
The good news, according to the same study, is that the frequency of episodes of all types of bullying begins to decline by the end of adolescence - as well as the number of victims.
Luke Roberts, a spokesman for the Anti-Bullying Alliance, says it's important that bullies understand what triggered their behavior.
Ask them what this person could do, how he could hurt you so much that you decided that such an answer was acceptable.
The process is dragging on
Mr Roberts says that once an abuser feels power over his victim, the behavior can become habitual. He also advocates apologizing as quickly as possible as the best and most effective way to deal with bullying in the long term.
Bill believes that a firm and clear response from adults was able to stop Melanie and her friends and minimize the possibility of a similar situation happening again.
Another parent, who sent an anonymous message to Mumsnet, said she was "simply shocked" by what the school was saying about her daughter's behaviour.
She belonged to a group of girls, one of whom was constantly bullied: her personal belongings were taken away, she was ignored and humiliated.
The school was able to cope with the situation, and we, in turn, once again confirmed at home that such behavior is considered unacceptable.
For a few days she seemed out of sorts, as were all the aggressors in this group, but after a week the aggressors and the victim had made up and everyone was friends again.
As for my daughter, she is now grown up, and there is not even a hint in her behavior that she could once subject someone to bullying. What to
O. E. Gribova
A book for those who are interested
M., Iris press, 2004
This manual is addressed to parents, speech therapists, and all those who are interested in how a child’s speech develops at an early age. The book presents a system of interesting and useful activities aimed at overcoming delays in the rate of speech development of a child. In addition, the manual contains answers to questions that concern every parent: “What are the signs of successful and unfavorable development of a child’s speech?”, “What to do if the baby does not move from babbling to words?”, “How to help a child if his speech develops with a delay ?
How speech is formed................................................... ........................................................ ............ 13
Signs of successful speech development in a child.................................................... ......... 16
Signs of unfavorable speech development in a child.................................................... ..... 16
Why does a child develop speech with a delay?.................................................. .............. 18
Classes should start as early as possible.................................................... ........................... 22
How to help your child......................................................... ........................................................ ................ 24
How to work with the book......................................................... ........................................................ ....... 44
This book is addressed primarily to parents with children aged 2-3 years with speech development problems with normal physical hearing and normal motor development.
A baby was born into the family. How much joy the first smile, the first cooing, the first babbling words bring to parents. But suddenly the parents begin to notice that something is wrong. The child’s peers began to speak in words and phrases, but your baby is still babbling something incomprehensible. Or rather, you can understand him, but with difficulty. What to do? Of course, don’t listen to the advice of well-wishers and wait until things get better on their own. No! You need to consult a specialist. The speech therapist will tell you what to do and how to deal with your baby. And if there is no specialist in your city or region, what should you do then? Then we will try to help you and your child. Read this book and try to follow our advice.
Please note the boxed glossary of terms that will help you better understand the contents of the book. The basic rules of behavior in the process of communicating with a child are highlighted in a special font. The é icon indicates the beginning of each new stage in working with the child. These stages are given in a strict sequence that cannot be violated. You can move on to the next stage only after you have mastered the material from the previous one.
The book does not replace consultation and training with a specialist.
Diagnosis - not a verdict, a diagnosis- successful start
on the way to developing full-fledged speech.
In recent years, the number of children with speech problems has increased sharply. At the same time, in Russia there is a shortage of trained specialists - speech therapists. What should we do for children who do not have access to speech therapy?
It is very important to identify problems with a child’s speech development and overcome them as early as possible. The most sensitive, or sensitive, period for speech development is from 1 to 5 years. The sooner a child’s speech is normalized, the more favorable the prognosis for his further development will be.
Let's try to help the child together.
This manual describes a system of working with children who have a delay in the rate of speech development of a functional or organic nature, caused by various factors.
A delay in the rate of functional speech development is usually due to improper upbringing or frequent illnesses of the child. Elimination of the cause that causes deviations in the child’s development and changes in the conditions of his upbringing determine the success of the child’s further development in preschool and school age. If speech problems are not addressed in time, they can become irreversible and distort the further development of the child’s speech and personality. Thus, the success of a child’s development depends on the active position of parents, who at this stage play a leading role in correcting any deviations in the development of his mental activity. Under the guidance of specialists or with the help of special literature, parents can organize proper communication with their child, change the conditions of his upbringing, stimulate desirable behavioral manifestations and “slow down” unwanted ones. Parents should not try to replace a specialist or duplicate his classes. Parents have quite specific “parental” means of influencing their child, which are effective if used consciously, at the right time and at the right stage.
A delay in the rate of speech development of an organic nature is due to deficiencies in the functioning or structure of the speech apparatus. Overcoming them requires specially organized corrective work. But even in this case, early correction turns out to be more effective.
Dictionary for reference
Correction- correction, for example, correction of speech defects, vision correction, etc.
Early correction- a system of pedagogical measures to normalize the child’s mental and physical development, carried out during early childhood (up to 3 years).
However, this does not mean that if speech underdevelopment is identified at 6 or 7 years old, you should give up. In any case, special classes will have a positive impact on the child’s speech and personality if they are systematic and targeted.
The work presented to your attention presents the first stage of the formation of speech activity in children with babbling speech.
These are young children (from birth to three years).
These are children over 3 years of age who have severe speech underdevelopment, who are sometimes called “speechless children.” This term is not entirely correct, since children belonging to this group can use a certain limited set of means of communication - babbling words, onomatopoeia, vocalizations, facial expressions, and gestures. Some of them quite actively come into contact, others are closed, shy, try to avoid communication, others demonstrate pronounced verbal and behavioral negativism with elements of aggressive behavior, i.e. refuse verbal and non-verbal communication, demonstrating their rejection of the situation, sometimes expressing protest even with the help of fists.
Dictionary for reference
Babbling words- words consisting of one to three identical syllables, for example baba pa (stick), lalya (doll), etc. The use of babbling words is typical for children in the first year of life (see table on p. 13).
Onomatopoeia- words constructed on the basis of imitation of the natural sound of an object, for example, meow (cat), pi pi (mouse), bee bee (car), etc. Such onomatopoeias are typical for the speech of children at the initial stages of speech development (up to about 1.5-2 years).
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Vocalizations- prolonged pronunciation of vowel sounds or mooing with different intonations. Normally, it is used only in infancy (up to 1 year).
In any case, these children are characterized as follows: “Understands everything, but does not speak.”
In the proposed methodology, we follow the ontogenetic principle. The development of speech obeys universal laws and goes through certain stages in a strict sequence. Consequently, when organizing correctional work, it is necessary to model these stages and correct the formed mechanisms that determine the development of a child’s speech at each of these stages.
Note the é icon, which indicates the transition from one work step to another.
The proposed methods for forming speech activity are not applicable to correcting the speech of children with hearing impairment and cerebral palsy. For children of these groups, the proposed work system must be modified to suit the children’s capabilities.
Dear Colleagues!
As is known, all work on the formation of speech activity can be conditionally divided into stages that seem to repeat the course of normal speech formation:
Stage I- development of the motivational basis of speech activity and the formation of imitative abilities;
Stage II- expanding vocabulary and improving the grammatical structure of speech;
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Stage III- development of dialogic and monologue forms of speech.
In accordance with ontogenetic principles, these stages are in a hierarchical structure. They are implemented sequentially. However, at each of these stages, a number of correctional goals and objectives are simultaneously solved. One or more of these goals and objectives are put forward as leading, paramount ones at each stage. The rest are considered current.
Main goals
How speech is formed
As you know, timely and complete mastery of speech is an important condition for the development of a child’s personality. The process of speech formation covers several age stages.
Particularly productive and important in this regard is the period of early and junior preschool age from 0.8-1 year to 3-4 years. During this short period of time, the child masters the basic laws of language. By the age of 3-4 years, his vocabulary consists of approximately 800-1000 words, while the child practically does not use onomatopoeia and lightweight versions of words. He knows how to construct basic types of sentences in compliance with grammatical rules. A four-year-old child can retell the content of a simple fairy tale, talk about his actions, and analyze his everyday situation.
This period is described in most detail, stage by stage, by specialists in the field of children's speech. Below we provide a table that shows the sequence of appearance of certain phenomena in children's speech and indicates the age standards for their appearance. This time is not strictly obligatory; the timing and, to some extent, the sequence of development of speech forms can vary in accordance with the individual characteristics and gender of the child. The table in column 3 provides average statistical data on the time frame during which certain forms of communication and linguistic units may appear in accordance with the norm of development. These periods can be quite extended, which is explained by the individual developmental characteristics of the child. However, if during a certain period the indicated forms do not appear, or you see isolated manifestations, this should alert you.
Dictionary for reference
Phonemic awareness- the ability and skill of auditory perception and discrimination of speech sounds (phonemes). It is formed in a child in preschool age and is the basis for understanding spoken speech and learning to write and read.
Motility of the articulatory apparatus- the ability to carry out movements of the organs of articulation (lips, tongue, soft palate, etc.) in full, with sufficient strength, accuracy and speed.
Visual gnosis- the ability to perceive and recognize the world around us through vision.
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If a child has problems with speech development (see signs of trouble), and parents constantly ask him: “Say”, “Repeat”, then the picture of speech underdevelopment, as a rule, is aggravated by the presence of persistent speech negativism in the child. Speech negativism, or refusal to renounce, can be expressed actively and passively, but in any case, the child refuses to speak not only on the orders of the parents, but also in any situation. Parents often describe this state of affairs when the child says a word once, as if “tasting” it, and does not repeat it again for months. Sometimes it almost comes to a fight. Parents first ask to repeat the word after them, then they beg, then they demand, in the end, the child is punished - they are put in a corner. But this leads to only one thing: over time, all tasks that require verbal reactions from the child are actively ignored or rejected by him.
The child is silent or turns away in response to any question, for example: “What is your name?”, “How old are you?”, “What toy are you holding?” etc. He hums and points his finger if he asks for something, but more often he tries to satisfy his own needs. Such “independence” of a child, when he, without outside help, takes out the necessary thing from the closet, turns on the TV, etc., pleases parents, although it often indicates undeveloped speech communication skills and the presence of persistent verbal negativism.
How to help your child
The opportunity to observe a child for a number of years, to begin correcting deviations in the child’s speech in a timely manner, the ability to influence the course of speech development in the child’s substantive, practical and play activities, can be realized by those persons who constantly interact with the child’s parents, kindergarten teachers, tutors, etc.
Naturally, the corrective influence should differ from those techniques and methods that are usually used by mothers to stimulate speech communication, and be of a specific nature. The success of correction largely depends on the level of interaction between the speech therapist, teacher and parents. It is the parents and teachers of nurseries and kindergartens who carry out the process of consolidating the speech skills and abilities acquired by children in speech therapy classes. The role of parents and educators increases even more in cases where there is no speech therapy assistance.
Correctional work requires a lot of knowledge and certain skills. Therefore, be careful and follow all our instructions in strict accordance with what is written. If something doesn’t work out right away, consult a specialist or carefully re-read the book. Each stage of work is marked with an é icon. Don't rush to jump from stage to stage. All steps are strictly required in the order presented. It is difficult for us to determine how much time it will take to practice at each stage. The duration of daily classes and the total duration of work are determined individually in accordance with the capabilities of the children.
The main objectives of correctional work with a child who has the beginnings of babbling speech are:
development of the motivational basis of speech activity,
formation of imitative abilities.
Dictionary for reference
Motivation- a motivating reason, a reason for any action, deed.
Imitation- imitation of the ability to reproduce speech.
Normally, as we have already said, a child’s speech is formed in the process of communicating with a native speaker through imitation. At the same time, a gradual “adjustment” of the child’s language to the adult’s language occurs on the basis of unconscious linguistic analysis, synthesis and the ability to make linguistic generalizations.
Thus, in the course of correctional work, first of all, it is necessary to ensure that the child develops need for communication.
Try the following
Sit with your child somewhere cozy, such as on the sofa or on the floor. Create an intimate, trusting environment, speak quietly, kindly, do not give orders, do not be distracted.
Take your child's favorite toy. Organize a simple game with her. Accompany manipulations with the toy with sounds and onomatopoeia. It is very important that your participation is not too intrusive, but on the other hand, you must make sure that this game is cooperative. You can choose any joint activity that is best accessible and interesting for the child.
For example, you have a son. You play cars with him. At the same time, you roll the car with your son, imitating its beeping: “Beep-beep” or “Too-too.”
é
Try to establish verbal contact with your son. During the game, ask your child: “How does the car hum?” And you answer this question yourself: “Bi-bi,” stretching out the vowels with pleasure. And if after the twentieth or thirtieth time, when your lips and tongue are already tired of pronouncing this “beep”, you hear a timid “beep” from your child, know that this is a small victory! Praise him! Rejoice with him! Of course, the question can be changed somewhat, for example: “How does this car hum?”, “And now the blue car will drive, how does it hum?” etc.
You can move on to the next task - developing the skill of echolalia - reflected speech. To do this, an adult (mother, father, grandmother, nursery teacher, in general, someone who is involved in raising a child) must organize special communication with the child in the process of joint substantive activity or play.
Remember, you cannot use direct instructions “Say”, “Repeat”!
Let's take a closer look techniques for inducing reflected speech - imitation of speech adult child.
An adult (teacher) selects for imitation 5-10 words that are simple in sound and syllable composition, the names of surrounding objects, for example, clothes, toys, dishes, food (1-2 groups), what the child loves most. For very young children, you can use the names of loved ones. At the same time, the adult speaks the so-called “nanny” language, in which the words are simplified to babble, there are many onomatopoeias, such as mouse - pee pee cat - meow or kitty and etc.
Let's imagine that a child likes to walk (this happens in winter) and eat, so we selected the following vocabulary fur coat, hat, boots, spoon, cup, fork. Let's look at a specific example of how an adult acts.
During routine moments, in particular during dressing and eating, an adult pronounces these names repeatedly, unfolding a model dialogue in front of the child, during which he plays the roles of questioner and answerer. The names of objects are pronounced at a slow pace, clearly, i.e. exaggerated. First, the name of one object is repeated many times, then another, as the actions change.
For example, we take out and put a fur coat on the child.
Adult: What did we get? - Fur coat
What it is? - Fur coat
What are we wearing now? - Fur coat.
Then they began to put a hat on the child.
What did we get? - A hat.
What it is? - A cap.
What are we wearing now? - A hat. Etc.
And so each word is spoken ten, fifteen, twenty times a day. The more often the better, but always in action with this item.
It is useless to repeat words just like that. This can go on for many days, even if a callus is slowly but surely forming on your tongue.
Gradually, the child is indirectly encouraged to enter into a dialogue - after asking questions, the adult makes longer and longer pauses (up to 5-10 seconds). For example:
Adult. Bring a plate. What did you bring? ...
That's right, a plate. A plate. This is a plate...
What is this?.. This is a plate. And so on.
However, simple pronunciation may not be enough, so the adult fixes the child’s attention not only on the sound of the word but also on the articulatory patterns. The adult ensures that the child simultaneously listens to the word and peers at the articulation. For example:
Adult. Where is my mouth? Where are the lips? Listen and look at the lips of ta-rel-ka.
Ta-rel-ka again.
Let's talk together. Well done!
Praise the child even if he did not repeat, but only carefully followed the movement of your lips with his eyes.
Adult. Once again we ta-rel-ka together. Fine!
Such recitation should be carried out daily as many times as the actions being spoken are performed.
This stage is perhaps one of the most difficult. Please note that all work is built in the process of real everyday or gaming activities. The second important condition is that the child should not even realize that you are working on speech development with him.
If you are tired of the classes and our book, you can either refuse further actions or call your child as follows. Come here. Sit down. Now we will engage in speaking words. Say "plate".
If you want to achieve results, strictly follow our recommendations.
Never scold him.
Re-read the book
What are these situations?
First, alternative questions are used, such as “Which toy should I give you, a bunny or a doll?” When answering, the child must use speech. This situation can be created artificially. For example, when setting the table for dinner, a child is not given a spoon. An adult asks the question: “What should I give you - a cup or a spoon?” With this formulation of the question, a verbal situation with elements of imitation is created. The child must hear the hint in the question and repeat the word he needs.
A necessary condition for successful work is to use in created situations only the subject vocabulary that the child has already mastered during preliminary work.
Secondly, verbal communication between an adult and a child must be justified at the everyday level. Therefore, the next type of communicative situation is communication during the execution of an assignment. The adult asks the child to bring this or that toy or piece of utensils, having first moved it from its usual place to a place inaccessible to the child, for example, on the top shelf of a closet. In this case, it is important to ensure that the child cannot reach the object himself and is forced to turn to an adult. The adult, in turn, stimulates the child’s request: “What do you want to take? A car? How should I ask? - Give me the car." As a reward, the child receives what he is looking for. In this situation, as we see, elements of echolalia are also used.
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The third type of communicative situations is indirect communication with a toy or with animals. During games such as “Mother’s Daughters”, “Visiting Katya’s doll”, etc. or caring for animals and birds living at home or in kindergarten, an adult encourages the child to make simple statements: “Ask the doll for a cup, Give me a cup, Katya”, “Put the bear in bed, Let’s sing him the song Bye bye, bear, bye bye”, “Let’s talk to the parrot. Good, bird, good." At the same time, children reproduce not only individual words, but also phrases, imitating the adult’s intonation.
As the child's vocabulary increases and the simplest phrase appears, the need for verbal communication develops. At this stage, it is important to encourage the child's desire to speak. You need to listen to him carefully, praise him, and not try to correct all the mistakes at once.
One form of stimulating the need for verbal communication is praise, as a positive reinforcement of the child’s achievements. Therefore, do not skimp on good words and joyful exclamations.
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It is very useful to talk about the child’s achievements in his presence to other family members. If the child communicates with pleasure, and you notice a surge in his speech activity, you can try to demonstrate his achievements by encouraging him to say: “Dad, listen to how we sang a song for the bear: “Bai bye, bear, bye bye.” As Dima sang the song, the words “say” and “repeat” still remain taboo. If the child is shy by nature, then he needs to be publicly praised, but the demonstration of achievements can be postponed until a later period of work, when he himself begins to be active in communication.
Simultaneously with work on calling echolalia in a child targeted auditory perception is formed and speech understanding skills are improved. Work is being carried out in two directions:
1) expanding the volume of passive vocabulary;
2) formation of the regulatory function of speech.
Both directions are closely related.
During exercises to develop echolalia, children are introduced to the names of objects, the basic actions that are performed with them, as well as their qualities. In particular, the verb dictionary includes the names of basic everyday actions (eat, drink, walk, draw, watch, listen, bring, take away, put, put, sit, stand, lie down etc.). In addition, the passive and active lexical vocabulary is enriched by adjectives denoting size (big small), color (white, black, red, yellow, blue, green), form (round, square) items.
During everyday communication, children are taught to listen to speech and perform actions in accordance with instructions based on an increasingly complex and expanding vocabulary. For example, the complexity of tasks occurs by increasing the words in the instructions and introducing various signs of the object: “Bring a cup”, “Take away a cup”, “Bring a red cup”, “Take the largest wheel (from the pyramid)”, “Give me a big red cube ", "Take the small green cube." In this case, assistance in the form of gestures is completely excluded.
At first, to make it easier for the child to complete the task, an adult can use semantized intonation. The word "small" is pronounced in a high tone of voice, and the word "big" is pronounced in a low tone. But gradually it is necessary to abandon this type of assistance. At the same time, children should focus only on the meaning of what they heard in order to complete the task correctly. Correct execution of instructions is encouraged morally or financially, for example, you can praise him, pat him on the head, pour him tasty juice, give him candy, etc. But if the action is performed incorrectly, then the adult must show an example and not move on to a more complex type of statement until will be worked out
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simple wording.
Each instruction should be repeated no more than 2-3 times before executing it. If a child has distracted attention, he needs to be given a preliminary instruction: “Listen to what I ask you to do, do as I say.” The use of such a preliminary setting is more effective than repeated repetition of a task against the background of distracted attention, when the parent repeats the same request, and the child ignores it not due to a harmful character, but because he is carried away by something more interesting to him.
Don’t assume that your child is doing everything to spite you!
Raise differently?
The listed forms of work can precede or take place simultaneously with speech imitation exercises.
During this period it is useful to start formation of spatial understanding of prepositional case constructions at the everyday level with the prepositions “in”, “on”, “under”.
Classes are conducted in the form of a game or during the game, after the child has developed a sufficient vocabulary and actively communicates with adults.
How to work with a book
The book is a description of an algorithm for working with young children with delayed speech development or with preschool and school-age children who have babbling speech.
If you're ready to try out the techniques we suggest, return to the beginning of the section "How to help a child" and follow the described algorithm. Individual stages cannot be skipped. It is possible that your child is talented and copes with some material quite easily. In this case, you can slightly reduce the time for individual stages.
If there are positive changes, but they require considerable time, be patient and do not force things. Your child needs more time and your attention. Consult a specialist.
Remember! Number and sequence
You can’t break the stages!
If you do not notice any positive changes in your child’s development, urgently contact specialists for advice. Perhaps your child will be offered to attend specialized groups because he has problems that you did not suspect. Help your child!
Good luck to you and your children!
If you have a daughter, then you need to choose a game that she likes, something that she can do for quite a long time. Sometimes children like to watch the blocks fall. In this case, we advise you to engage in joint assembly of a pyramid or other structure with its regular destruction, accompanying the last action by pronouncing the word “bang”.
In some cases it may take longer. This does not mean that your child is “stupid” or “abnormal.” That's just who he is. Or maybe you are doing something wrong?
O. E. Gribova
What to do if your child doesn't speak?
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Time is running. The child grows up, gains strength - and now the parents wonder where their offspring has disappeared, why he began to deceive adults or does not want to communicate at all. As a rule, there is only one answer - the bad company is to blame.
What to do? Lock up at home. Take away the phone. Disconnect from the Internet. An event on the verge of the end of the world: your well-mannered, homely child got involved with bad company and turned into an uncontrollable and embittered creature. The first cardinal decisions to correct the situation, as a rule, are the most incorrect, and therefore, in an ordinary situation, in essence, it is worth sorting out without scandals and gray hairs.
And remember how it all began. The baby is absolutely helpless, he is completely dependent on his parents. They take care of him, try to guess his desires and problems while he is still unable to express and solve them on his own. As a result, the little man has a strong reflex that he is the “center of the universe.” But then the child grows up and finds himself in new conditions: kindergarten, school, club. And everywhere our “center of the universe” tries to apply an already established model of behavior among the children and adults around him. Conflicts with the environment invariably arise. The child “experiments” and tries to choose a new type of behavior that suits him better. Parents and other adults are trying to re-solve the child's social problems. There is a temporary lull.
But this period ends when the child enters the so-called adolescence. During adolescence, a person has to solve two important problems. Learn to live independently (freed from adult care) and at the same time find your place in the team, the community of your peers. This period is usually called “transitional age”.
For many children, it passes so violently that they forget not only their parents, brothers and sisters, but also the elementary concepts of good and evil.
Unfortunately, such stories are typical: your exemplary and homely child got involved with bad company and turned into an evil and uncontrollable creature. “How could this happen,” you think, “there are so many well-mannered children around, and he or she spends all the time in the company of hooligans from dysfunctional families and girls of very dubious behavior?”
The desire of a child at this age to join a social group united by common interests and take his place there is quite natural. In psychology there is a term “grouping need” and it must be satisfied. Man is unable to resist nature - he strives to find his place in the team.
"Who is to blame and what to do"?
But why exactly a bad company? Here it’s time to ask the classic questions “who is to blame” and “what to do”? If a child went to a bad company, it means he could not find a good one, or for one reason or another she did not satisfy him or did not accept him. And the first good company that your child rejected is your family. No matter how bitter it is to admit this fact, this is exactly the case.
During adolescence, a person’s priorities in life change sharply: he tries to become independent, make decisions and be responsible for them himself, he has adult questions about the structure of life, about moral and material priorities, he wants to take a worthy place in the company of his peers, to please the opposite semi... The overflowing energy requires an outlet.
Bad company is the easiest way to satisfy all these needs. Plus a slight euphoria from alcohol and weed at first. It must be clearly understood that NO ONE DRUG HIM THERE, HE WENT ON HIMSELF. It's his choice! A child who finds himself in bad company could well consciously strive for this. The existing social circle at any age perfectly reflects our priorities. Just like in school: excellent students make friends with excellent students, poor students easily find others like themselves. Perhaps your child has found “theirs” and fits in perfectly with the yard company. And therefore, there’s really nothing to blame other people’s boys for - their parents are also firmly convinced that your child is a bad influence on their gullible children. And this is a very important idea. If this is a conscious choice for a child, then the refusal should be a conscious one! No amount of bans or repression will help.
Under foreign banners
Every mother's nightmare is a child who ends up in some kind of organized group. This could be a religious sect or extremist organization, aggressive environmentalists or militant peace activists. Goals may vary dramatically, but psychologists believe that people become members of organized movements for two reasons.
The first is loneliness. Organized groups are full of children from wealthy families, and among anti-globalists there are many participants with famous surnames and millions of dollars inherited from their parents. In early childhood, they were given to nannies and grandmothers to raise them, and the lack of attention was usually compensated for with toys.
At first they were simply sad and grew up as withdrawn and unsociable children. The problem becomes aggravated during the period when the child learns independence, from which, as we know, there is only one step to loneliness. A teenager who has not received enough attention willingly follows the first Pied Piper of Hamelin he meets. “Your help will be invaluable, you are irreplaceable, you are part of the team” - it is with these beliefs that recruitment begins.
The second reason is closely related to the first and has the same source. This is the desire to declare your importance, as loudly as possible. It is desirable that the whole world knows about it. It goes without saying that a teenager driven by such a desire really has every chance of becoming famous in the criminal chronicles. Such children were not noticed in childhood. “Don’t disturb the adults,” “play in your room,” “I’m tired today, next time,” “I don’t have time.” If the desire to communicate with parents is smashed against a blank wall day after day, most of all you want to attract their attention. Dye your hair blue, hold a rally at a foreign embassy, stand under other people's banners and scream, scream, shout about your importance and need. On the one hand, you need to give the child independence, and on the other, not let him slide down an inclined plane. How to combine freedom and control.
First and most important, you need to maintain a trusting relationship with your child at all costs. You must make it clear that you recognize him as an adult and respect his independence. If you get caught spying on, picking through pockets, or looking at a mobile phone or social media posts, it will be extremely difficult to regain respect in the eyes of a teenager. And this will dramatically reduce the possibility of your influence. Calmness is a matter of everyday life. A child who finds himself in bad company is a whole family tragedy, but the vast majority of families face this at different stages and to varying degrees. Scandals, hysterics, threats and demonstrative searches in the nursery will forever alienate you from your child; after a family storm, he will immediately go looking for support from his friends. Control yourself, remain calm and carefully weigh your words. Listen to parents who are faced with the teenage problems of their children: “We tried to lock our daughter in a room, kept us under house arrest, threatened and literally dragged us to a psychologist, but to no avail.” Honestly, even an adult with an established psyche will shudder from such an approach.
Teenagers have a highly developed sense of protest. And if they are forbidden something in the form of an ultimatum, they will be drawn to it even more.
The second thing to do is to understand that a child cannot be pulled out of a bad company and into nowhere. He needs to be offered a choice that he will make himself. For example, start going to the gym or seriously take up photography, music or programming. For example, those who have not regularly visited modern gyms probably do not know how strong the influence of the social group formed there is on teenagers. These are mostly successful, self-confident young people. And in their constant environment, the status of a “jock”, “hacker”, musician or future photographer can completely satisfy their growing ambitions.
Modern photography clubs or musical groups - anywhere a teenager will find it more interesting than in the yard. New technology, passionate conversations, healthy competition - remember that your teenager has long outgrown diapers and needs bright emotions and mature self-expression.
Your daughter hangs out with girls who wear makeup like Indians, wear vulgar skirts and flirt with boys with all their might. Completely bad taste. Instead of making toxic comments about makeup and skirts, set a different example. Create a fashionable and stylish wardrobe, exactly as recommended by popular youth magazines.
If a child constantly skips classes, preferring the company of the yard to study, think about whether you have predicted the right specialty for him. It is quite possible that he is absolutely not interested in her. And then the choice between a dubious future career as a financier and the real danger of drug addiction is obvious. Talk to your child about what specialty he dreams of, what he would like to do in life, where to go. Try to understand his interests and help him decide.
Third, try to understand how bad the company your child is in is. And if you feel danger: crime, promiscuous sex, drugs, you must take the most decisive action. If this is a school company, transfer him to another school; if it is a yard company, move to another area. It's difficult, but a child's life is more valuable. We must remember that such tactics are very traumatic for the child; try in every possible way to help him. If possible, consult a psychologist. If not, try to pay as much attention to the child as possible and show maximum patience and tact.
Treat the cause, not the symptoms.
Bad company is just a consequence. The reasons are much more serious, and each of them, in essence, says one thing - blaming strangers is at least absurd, and at most dangerous. The real problems lie in your child’s worldview and intra-family conflicts. You shouldn’t blame the yard company, the child, or yourself. You have a long road to mutual understanding and trust, and your most reliable compass will be your honest assessment of the situation.
Natalia Terekhova
