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Great Lent, how should we understand it?

The days of many Christians entering the days of Lent are approaching. And it is in these days that we can get closer to God than ever before. It is known that before Jesus began his ministry on earth, he entered into a forty-day fast in the desert. What is it for? Not just because it is the tradition of our fathers and a church rite. Moreover, the erroneous opinion that fasting is abstaining from certain foods and entertainment .

Fasting is the humility of one’s flesh, it is the complete isolation of oneself from the world and drawing closer to God. . It is during fasting, when you are weak physically and mentally that strong temptations of the devil come. It is on these days that our friends invite us to various entertainments, it is then that we really want to eat something meat or dairy, and even more so, to be irritated. But it is precisely then that we gain strength from the Holy Spirit, when we overcome all these temptations.

Child's understanding of fasting.

And many parents are now asking themselves the question: “How to celebrate a child’s birthday if it falls during Lent?” Let's talk about this topic today. First of all, we ourselves must understand that a child’s entry into fasting must be conscious. The child needs to understand why he is doing this and he should have precisely his own desire for humility before God, and not the desire of his parents.

If this does not happen, the child will suffer from the fact that at his age he does not receive exactly what he is so accustomed to. He will not be able to resist the onslaught of his parents, and will be forced to fulfill their will. But a rebellion will grow inside his heart, which will eventually burst out in adolescence.

None of us wishes this for our child. Therefore, we, as parents, need to first of all show God to our child through our care, love, friendship and respect for him. Before a child will call God into his heart, he needs to realize that he is born in the nature of sin.

And for this we teach our children through personal communication, Sunday schools and our example of walking with Christ, Who is God the Father and what is Christ’s sacrifice for us. The child must understand that without the forgiveness of sins we cannot enter the Kingdom of God.

What do you think, can a person humble himself before the One Whom he does not know? No. Of course, he will be able to endure these forty days, but his heart will remain unchanged. God does not need such a fast. He doesn't like religious rituals where there is no real life. God desires sincere repentance and humility, and not external attributes.

When can a child fast?

So at what age can a child begin fasting? From that age when there was sincere repentance and acceptance of Jesus into your heart. This happens at different times for all people. You can see for yourself that Jesus entered into fasting for forty days only at the age of 33. Watch your children. I have also seen cases where children even at the age of 7 deliberately go on fasting and their hearts rejoice when they can observe this.

What should we do, parents, when a child is not ready to fast, but we want it? We must follow all the rules of Lent, but only in relation to ourselves. We are obliged to explain to the child why we are doing this and why he cannot take part in this yet. The child’s life should flow in the same direction as usual. Thus, we will be a clear example of what a person will have to go through during Lent.

How to celebrate a birthday so as to be in the will of God and not to offend the child?

Now let's figure it out, how to properly celebrate your child's birthday if he has accepted his salvation and considers himself a little Christian? How can you celebrate a holiday if a child has realized the necessity of fasting? Here, too, there is no need to go to extremes. Birthdays can only happen once a year. And if we don’t celebrate it, it may turn out that our baby will lose its significance here on earth for everyone, even for God.

We can't allow this to happen. Therefore, the holiday must take place. Now you can find a wide variety of Lenten dishes on the Internet. You can make more different culinary masterpieces and decorate them with bright fruits or vegetables. Be sure to hang the balloons and write a poster with a picture and congratulations.

It would be very appropriate to have candles here that can be blown out.

Don't worry what God will think about it. He will be happy, because one of the commandments is: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” With this attention and care we will show our beloved baby our love for him and the love of God. And since it is written in the same Bible that these two commandments: love God and neighbor are the most important, our Creator will rejoice with us.

Before the feast, be sure to pray with your guests so that they can see that God occupies the main place in your home. Thank Him in prayer for the wonderful child He gave you; pray for your child, so that the Lord will be his helper in the new year of his life. And be sure to give praise to the Creator for this beautiful table.

Of course, a holiday table would not be complete without joyful communication. Since the birthday falls during the period of fasting and our task is to draw closer to God, we can do this in a playful way. On the same Internet you can find a lot of children's Christian games. Think about this issue a few days before the holiday so that you have time to prepare.

You can also have a very interesting time at Christian karaoke. Here you will glorify God with songs and lift everyone’s spirits, because it’s interesting to pass the microphone one by one and sing.

It’s also very interesting to show children a mini-theater or a Christian production. Here parents will have to work hard. It is precisely in such a sacrifice that God especially likes you. I don’t believe that it is impossible to find time for your child to prepare for his holiday.

Believe me, remembering such days, your little one, even at an older age, will remember these experiences with emotion and, of course, thank God for the fact that He gave them exactly such parents.

And also, with such behavior we can show the mercy and unconditional love of the Father. And your child will be grateful to you all his life for your patience and care. And Father God will be the protection for them where they can come at any moment.

There is a lot of debate among Orthodox Christians about whether it is possible to become pregnant during Lent and whether conception during Lent will be sinful. The reason is that the ban on performing the Sacrament of Wedding coincides with those days when the Church does not bless intimate relationships between spouses, namely during fasting, on the eve of fasting days (Wednesday and Friday) and before major holidays.

But a child conceived during Lent is the same child of God as any other - beloved, long-awaited, worthy of salvation. The fact that such a child is unwanted by the Lord is a dangerous superstition that no real Christian should allow into his heart.

Priest Svyatoslav Shevchenko

One day, a neighbor in a prison cell complained to Vladyka Manuel (Metropolitan Manuel (Lemeshevsky), who spent most of his life in camps for his faith and in his old age had the gift of foresight from God) that he was sitting here innocently. - How so? - he asked. – Why did the Lord allow this to happen? – The guilt that the Soviet court presented is really not yours! – the Lord said sharply. “But you are serving a sentence for the fact that when you were a child, you broke into your neighbors’ house, broke their cabbage, and then opened the bolt on the barn and let the cow out.” Neighbors with many children who had lost their wet nurse fell into extreme poverty.

“Grandfather,” another criminal cellmate asked from above. – Why have I been hanging around prisons all my life? Others don’t steal so much, but are free... “You were conceived on Good Friday,” the bishop answered. “You will die in prison.” (Konyaev N.M. Clad in the weapon of light. - M.: Trifonov Pechenga Monastery, “Ark”, 2002, P. 36.)

“When a couple with a sick child approached John of Kronstadt and asked to pray for the healing of their child, he sharply refused, saying: “You better remember on what day you conceived him!” As it turned out, the conception took place on Holy Week.” (“Meeting”, issue No. 2 – February 2009).

Archbishop of Yekaterinburg and Verkhoturye Vincent: “The overwhelming number of marriages that take place during the period of Orthodox Lent do not bring happiness. Modern scientists say that up to 90% of marriages concluded during Lent or other fasts throughout the year are destroyed. And children who are conceived these days will most likely be sick.” Here is what priest Sergius Nikolaev writes: “According to the testimony of a doctor who has been practicing for more than 40 years, children conceived during fasting are very difficult to treat. I have heard opinions that “senior” children are more difficult to raise. The sin of intemperate parents can serve as the basis for sin or misfortune in children. There are modern scientific studies on why children are born sick. Studies have shown that 95% of sick children were conceived on fasting days, and from a scientific point of view, medical scientists advise: if spouses want to have healthy offspring, they should refrain from intimacy on fasting days.” - “Penza Orthodox Interlocutor” No. 11 (52), November 2006, P. 3.

The important role of Christian piety in married life was pointed out by St. Seraphim of Sarov. This is the advice he gave to one young man getting married: “Keep clean, keep Wednesdays and Fridays (fasts), and holidays, and Sundays. For failure to maintain cleanliness, for failure to observe Wednesday and Friday by spouses, children will be born dead, and if holidays and Sundays are not observed, wives die in childbirth” - Metropolitan Veniamin (Fedchenkov). World lamp / M., “Pilgrim”, Orthodox St. Tikhon’s Theological Institute. 1996, p. 191.

The Monk Ambrose of Optina wrote the same thing in one of his letters to the laity: “Your wife’s illness may have been your own fault: either you did not honor holidays in your marital relationship, or you did not observe marital fidelity, for which you are punished by your wife’s illness.” Or another example. One couple had a son who showed some deformity of soul. Reverend Leonid Optinsky said that this was a punishment from his parents for their failure to observe church holidays in their family life. - About Orthodox marriage. St. Petersburg, “Society of St. Basil the Great.” 2001, p. 96.

The Orthodox Church calls on its children, according to pious tradition, to abstain by mutual consent from marital relations through fasting and on the days of great holidays. However, situations are very different. It happens that an unbelieving spouse insists on marital intimacy, and refusal of it will lead to the breakup of the family. It happens that a sailor husband returns from a long journey during the period of fasting, and then goes to sea again. Therefore, this issue is resolved individually with the confessor for each family.

The Lord sends a child to the spouses; without His will, conception will not take place. Therefore, I would advise you to refrain from intimacy during the period of fasting and strictly pray at this time for the gift of a child after fasting. It’s one thing if one of the spouses is an unbeliever or, let’s say, unchurched. Everything is clear here: a person does not know what fasting is. And to demand that he observe marital fasting forcibly means subjecting him (and along with him, oneself) to tests, the consequences of which can be very disastrous. The Apostle writes: “Do not deviate from one another except by agreement” (1 Cor. 7:5). And with an unbelieving spouse, agreement on the issue of observing the marital fast is not easy to achieve.

But there is another side to the question: what if both spouses are believers and churchgoers, if both live a Christian spiritual life, confess and receive communion? And if they are already close to that “unanimity of souls and bodies” for which the Church prays in the Sacrament of Marriage, but one of them wanted to break the marital fast? The fact is that here agreement already exists in advance: both spouses agree that fasting must be observed in all respects. Against this background, the desire of one of them to break the fast looks like a whim, or a temptation. In this case, is it necessary to go after him? Ideally, no. In my opinion, if both spouses are already living a church life, the refusal of one of them to enter into a marital relationship during Lent will serve the common good, and the other half will subsequently only be grateful for this.

However, in real life, not everything is as simple as we would like. Therefore, there are no and cannot be universal rules about observing or breaking marital fasting. And if the issue of marital relations during Lent concerns you, discuss it with an experienced confessor whose opinion you trust - I think he will give you good advice on what to do in your particular situation.

Priest Mikhail Nemnonov

Over the course of 12 months, there are 4 fasts; during these special periods it is necessary to avoid intimacy, as well as on the days of great holidays and fasting days (Wednesday, Friday). Every believer must adhere to these rules. How possible is this to be realized in modern life realities? But what about the statement that says that it is the Lord who sends us children? The answer to this question is not so clear-cut. Let's try to figure out what the consequences of conception during Lent are.

Conception during Lent and the church’s opinion on this matter.

Sometimes spouses do not pay significant attention to exactly when the baby is conceived: during Lent or Good Friday. A serious illness of a child or various troubles that happen to him may be associated precisely with the period of conception. But not all children were conceived at the “allowed” time. Does this mean that they are all seriously ill or that they are haunted by nothing but troubles in life? It is likely that no unpleasant situations will happen to them. Another thing is important - such an act is sinful and it does not matter whether the spouses believe in it or not.

Many believers cannot find a laconic answer to the question of why conceiving a child during fasting is a sin. The Church has established certain rules according to which during fasting days, including Lent, holidays, and Sundays, spouses must abstain from intimacy. But it’s worth evaluating this rule from a different perspective.

After all, both spouses, according to the Holy Scriptures, must refuse sex of their own free will. If one of the couple is unable to bear all the burdens of refusing temptations and cannot live through the days of Lent without intimacy, the spouse cannot refuse. The Apostle Peter wrote about this. An even greater sin is refusal, which entails betrayal. And this will negatively affect family relationships, even to the point of family breakdown.

If the married couple is a believer and follows the rules of fasting, there is no need to conceive a child during this period. It is not for nothing that a certain period of time is given for prayer, repentance and the fight against temptations.

If pregnancy occurs during Lent, a married couple must confess this sinful act as soon as possible. It’s better to go to the church where you regularly go and confess to “your” confessor. But if this is impossible, then you should go to confession at the nearest church. The Lord is merciful to us, therefore he forgives us a lot. When conceiving during Lent, you do not need to think about artificial termination of pregnancy or the birth of a child with all sorts of pathologies. You definitely need to tune in to the best; the baby should feel even in the womb that his birth is welcome. After all, all thoughts can materialize.

Why should you refrain from conceiving during Lent or fasting days?

Planning a child in an Orthodox family must be thought out. You should not convince yourself that conceiving a baby on the “wrong” days is not a sin. Fasting is a time for drawing closer to God, cleansing the soul and body, and renouncing worldly temptations. Prayer and repentance - this is what should be the basis of the life of every Christian during Lent. It is worth noting that during this period they do not marry, since it is during this sacrament that the blessing for the birth of children is given. This is why you should refrain from intimacy during Lent.

There are cases when a married couple has problems related to having children. So it turns out that the end of treatment falls on fasting, when it is necessary to make further attempts at conception. So what to do in this situation? A long period of treatment and several months of abstinence may even be beneficial. You should come to terms with this and take it for granted, there is no need to calculate favorable days and make plans in this regard. Children will be given by God as a reward for humility and undying hope. The wait is painful for those spouses who wait many years for pregnancy. It is up to the married couple to decide what exactly to do. Children are sent by the Lord both for joy and for realizing their own mistakes. Therefore, you should not take risks, but postpone planning until the end of the post.

The opinion of clergy on protection during Lent.

The church does not accept the use of contraception and considers it unnatural. Looking at this from a moral point of view, there should be no contraception in an Orthodox family. The Church perceives such “protection” from possible conception as nothing more than a perversion. It is also worth considering that contraceptives themselves are not as harmless as they seem at first glance; they have a negative effect on a woman’s body. Children are given to a married couple by God, so any obstacle to this is a sin.

Sexual relations during fasting are a passion and temptation that people who are weak in spirit cannot overcome. The ability to control your physical needs on holidays and fasting days is a step towards God, an opportunity to understand why a person lives on earth and what his purpose is.

The concept of “unplanned conception” in the interpretation of the church.

Quite often you can hear the term “unplanned conception,” which is no coincidence in the modern world. The worst thing is that neither the woman nor the man set themselves the goal of creating a child as the fruit of joint love. All this was perceived as an accident. The fetus in the womb is very sensitive to any changes in the mother’s body, this also applies to mood, nervous overexcitation and irritation. All these feelings are experienced by the little unborn man who already has a heart and soul. So how can you hope that a child born from unplanned intimacy can be happy and successful?

All the failures that await such a baby can be associated not only with psychological trauma received before birth, but also as a reflection of parental sins.

How to prepare for conception correctly?

Doctors recommend starting to prepare for a possible pregnancy another 3 months in advance, eating healthy food and vitamins, and abstaining from harmful hobbies. But according to church canons, it takes at least 6 months to be completely ready to conceive. Prayers, following the rules of fasting, calling on the soul - this is what planning consists of. Fasting should be perceived as a kind of cleansing procedure for the soul and body.

There is a way to pray for 41 days to get what you want. It can also be used to summon souls. This method involves carrying out daily procedures for 41 days: lighting a candle on the home altar, incense and fresh flowers, reading prayers, and making a request. All this will be a kind of sacrifice to God for the fulfillment of one’s own desires. Faith in the power of God will help you achieve your plans; the long-awaited pregnancy will come soon.

Take care of the future of your unborn children, do not do things that you will regret. You should not prepare yourself for the possibility that a child conceived during fasting will be born sick. Repent of your actions, remove the heavy burden from your soul. Give the little man all your love, do not pass on the accumulated negativity to him. The confession of both parents will cleanse the soul; know that God’s love for man is limitless.

Throughout the year, Orthodox believers live through four fasts, which provide an opportunity to draw closer to God through spiritual and physical abstinence. ? As a rule, believers eat according to the church calendar. In addition to observing dietary restrictions, abstinence from entering into a church marriage, as well as from carnal joys and pleasures, is advised. But this point is relevant for many married couples. So is it possible to have sex while fasting? It is clear that the birth of a child during Lent or at any other time cannot always be predicted. However, the church prescribes very specific rules about conception during Lent, as well as during other fasts.

Conceiving a child during Lent - is it possible or not?

Our ancestors have long been engaged in planning the birth of offspring. According to ancient beliefs, children conceived during fasting had good health and a sharp mind. In those days, it was believed that such a child would have a strong guardian angel all his life. Indeed, during fasting, the body was filled with special energy and vitality, which contributed to the conception of a child. True, for this, conception had to take place not at night, but in the early morning.

Before conceiving a child, our ancestors prepared for this event in advance. They cleansed their bodies and thoughts, observed daily fasting, and performed prayers. In addition, in the old days they believed that the soul of their deceased relatives moved into newborns.

Today, church canons state that believers during Lent should abstain from sex and, accordingly, from conceiving a child. In Orthodox families, spouses must support each other at this time, since renunciation of carnal relationships is considered a sacrifice to God and elevates a person’s soul.

A child conceived during Lent - what to do?

Of course, the ways of the Lord are inscrutable and conception can occur on any day - even on Good Friday of Great Lent. The Church does not consider such children to be more prone to sins, illnesses, or problematic personalities. On the contrary, such fears about conceiving during Lent are considered superstitious, to which Orthodox Christians should not succumb.

After all, the true purpose of such bodily abstinence is the opportunity for spouses to reveal their love on a higher, spiritual level. So the decision to temporarily abstain from sex in marriage should be made voluntarily by husband and wife, by mutual consent.

Conceiving or giving birth to a child during Lent is not a cause for concern, but a reason for joy. After all, it happens that a couple could not conceive a baby for a long time, and then the long-awaited event happened during Lent. What if the child was born, for example, during Lent? This means that God wanted it that way. Yes, and during Lent you can easily choose from healthy and tasty dishes. The task of parents in any case is to raise a child in true faith and love for the Lord.

About conceiving a child in Lent

With the birth of a child, Orthodox parents are concerned about the issue of his baptism. Sometimes situations arise when the ceremony needs to be carried out during Lent before Easter or on Easter itself.

There have been debates on this topic for a long time, and often this question remains open for many parents. To deal with this problem, it is necessary to study all the pros and cons. We asked an Orthodox priest about this.

The essence of the sacrament of baptism

Baptism is one of the seven great sacraments of Christianity. His the essence is to cleanse a person from sins, rebirth to a new life and initiation into faith.

The history of the baptismal ritual suggests that after the resurrection of Jesus Christ there were very few people who accepted the Christian faith. Basically, only adults were baptized, having made this decision consciously.

As a rule, the ceremony was carried out in secret, since Orthodox Christians were persecuted for their faith and even executed. When there were few Christians, the sacrament was performed mainly on major church holidays.

Gradually, the Christian faith spread more and more, and not only adults, but also infants were baptized.

When is the best time to baptize a child?

There are no strict time limits in Orthodoxy. Previously, a baby was brought to the temple no earlier than the eighth day of life, but traditionally on the fortieth. This is mainly due to the fact that a woman after giving birth is allowed to enter the temple only on the 40th day. The priest reads special prayers over the mother of the baby, after which the woman can attend the baptism of her child.

This does not mean at all that the ceremony must be performed on this particular day, especially if it falls on Lent or a major church holiday. Nothing bad will happen if you do it a little later.

However There are situations when postponing baptism is unacceptable. If a child is seriously ill, it does not matter whether it is fasting or a great holiday. It is necessary to carry out the ceremony as early as possible so that the baby has his own guardian angel. In this case, he can be baptized even in a maternity hospital or intensive care unit.

Dates of baptism

According to Orthodox canons, there are no prohibitions on the day of the sacrament, regardless of the fast or holiday on which it falls. It is believed that the Lord rejoices at anyone who comes to faith and does not put any obstacles in his way. In addition, if we focus on church holidays, memorial days and numerous fasts, then choosing a day for baptism would be difficult in principle. Therefore, there are no restrictions for carrying out the ceremony before or after Easter.

The only problem that may arise during this period is the banal busyness of the priest, because during Lent and Easter week services are held almost daily.

Each temple has its own rules, so it is advisable to worry in advance and agree with the priest on the day of the sacrament.

Is the sacrament of baptism performed during Lent?

Sometimes circumstances are such that the baptism ceremony falls during the period of Lent. And here many parents doubt: is it possible to baptize a child during Lent? There is no direct ban on holding the sacrament during this period, despite the objections of some clergy.

However, it is worth noting: at baptism it is customary to organize noisy feasts and fun, which are accompanied by the consumption of meat and other dishes made from animal products, as well as alcohol. This is inappropriate during fasting. But, if, nevertheless, you decide to baptize your baby during the period of fasting, you can set the table with lean dishes and refuse to drink alcohol.

It is believed that the best day to baptize a child during Lent is Maundy Thursday. On this day, a person cleanses his home and body. Carrying out the sacrament on Maundy Thursday symbolizes the liberation of a person from original sin, the soul is cleansed and he can meet Easter renewed.

Is baptism performed on Easter?

Many people associate Easter with the revival of the world and people to a better life. There are no direct prohibitions on holding the sacrament on Easter Day. Baptism can be performed at the end of the festive liturgy.

But it is unlikely that there will be a priest who will agree to perform the ceremony, unless, of course, baptism is required for a seriously ill child. The reason for this is simple fatigue.

The evening service smoothly transitions into the morning liturgy. For any clergyman, Easter is a great holiday that you want to celebrate with your family. Therefore, parents should think not only about their own desires, but also take care of those around them. Priests, due to their workload, appoint certain days for the sacrament in order to streamline the rhythm of work.

Considering all of the above, the answer to the question: is it possible to baptize a child on Easter will be positive, but whether to do it or not is up to the child’s parents to decide. It may be more appropriate to postpone this date for a few weeks, when the holidays are over and the life of the church returns to its usual course.

Arguments for and against holding the sacrament during Lent and Easter

Before deciding to hold a ceremony during Lent or Easter, parents need to study all the pros and cons of such a step.

Arguments for"

A person is freed from original sin during the period of general Christian cleansing of soul and body;

The perfect sacrament on Easter is another reason to gather the whole family at the table and celebrate the birth of a new Christian;

Perhaps the special state of mind that every Christian experiences during this period will be passed on to the baby, and this will help him endure the ceremony without worry and tears.

Arguments against"

Finding a clergyman who agrees to perform the sacrament of baptism during the period of Lent and on Easter is quite difficult. At this time, priests are heavily loaded with long services. In addition, during Lent, the priest tries to devote maximum attention and time to the sick. Communions and unctions are performed. Therefore, most priests ask to postpone the ceremony to a later date, unless, of course, this is an emergency, as described above;

Before Easter, and especially on Easter Day, churches are crowded with parishioners. A baby may be frightened by so many people, be capricious and nervous during the sacrament;

Noisy feasts are inappropriate during the Lent period, and a meal consisting of Lenten dishes may not be to the liking of some guests.

How to avoid unpleasant surprises

To avoid problems, having decided to conduct the ceremony during Lent or Easter, parents need to:

Considering the priest’s workload during this period, agree with him in advance about conducting the ceremony;

If baptism takes place during Lent, you need to carefully consider the holiday menu, taking into account all the restrictions;

The priest will definitely set a day and time for a conversation with future godparents. They must be prepared for this;

If possible, not only godparents, but also parents should confess and receive communion before the sacrament.

It is believed that a child born on Easter will later become famous. Moreover, a person born at noon on Christ's Bright Sunday will become great, and will even be able to influence the course of history. A Children born on Easter week are characterized by good health.

Considering all of the above, we can conclude: baptism can be performed on any day. However, if you are fasting and time is running out, it is better to postpone the ceremony for a couple of weeks in order to celebrate this event when the fast is completed. And of course, you need to think not only about yourself, but also about the priests, who are very busy during this period, and there are people who need his help more.